Not done yet -

[kyburg]

But had to get this in before my day is totally gone.

What happens when you use a safe-haven baby drop-off...for a toddler?

Psst. Lemme tellya something. The research shows, beyond a doubt, that it doesn't change the outcome of 'trauma' much depending on the age you turn a child over to someone else (in this case, I'd hope for adoption placement). You do it - your kid will have it to ponder. Deal with? The degree is variable.

But adopted kids will always know - somehow - they aren't your biological children - no matter the age. You discuss adoption as soon as the child is old enough to get their head around it. We've been taught that if you haven't thought about talking about adoption with your child, you probably need to do it again. You do it so often, it no longer has any power to wound, surprise or hold any other kind of emotional power.

You will always have a bonding period to establish - and work to establish - if you adopt.

That said - I have to say this drop-off served its purpose if they wanted to discourage abandonment in an unsafe public place like a park or shopping mall. I also hope they get to the bottom of the why - but in Japan, adoption is not supported well. I can understand why someone might chose this path. Any other path might not have served the need. The kid's safe - today. And having your needs met, at that age, has a lot more to do with early development than anything else.

Wow.

Comments

[arien.livejournal.com]

God forbid someone actually USE the dropbox for its intended purpose...

[dudemungus.livejournal.com]

I had a buddy who was adopted, and his folks told him when he was around four or five--old enough to understand, young enough to accept it. It never bothered him.

[drlaurac.livejournal.com]

I think it's easier dealing with China where it's babies who are not wanted for political and financial reasons - it has very little to do with them and who they are as a person. It's a government policy.

But to have one child put in a drop box like that at that age is very rough. He knew his parents, and now he's been abandoned. I wish I could go get him and take him home with me. Snuggle him and tell him it's nothing personal, nothing he did, and that he is loved. I hope some family takes him in right away and showers him with love.

[moropus.livejournal.com]

I'd much rather people drop off a child like this that leave him in the park or neglect and abuse him at home. They should be allowed to admit they aren't in a place to be a parent. That is much better than selling him on the black market or any of the other things that could be done to a small child.

We don't know why this man couldn't take care of his child anymore. We're not in possesion of enough facts to judge him for using the drop box for dropping off his child.

[callibr8]

Terribly sad situation for the child, for his parents, for the country he was born in. And yet ... they're making a big point of "this is the wrong use for this" and citing fear of copycats, when their own actions of widely publicizing the act are the very thing that may well inspire copycats. WTF?

I'm sorry (sad, sick at heart) that it's not the birthright of every child born, to grow up in a loving home. But as long as some parts of the world struggle with out-of-control birth rates, while in other more industrialized parts of the world there are couples going through heartbreak for want of children they are unable to conceive, we're gonna continue to have situations like this.