Things that I really don't like -

[kyburg]

In my family, two of my siblings have had kids. In Jim's, only one - his older brother.

And it's been a train wreck, start to finish.

BIL has children with two women - one he married, and one the courts determined became pregnant while he was unaware. (Long story.)

He divorced the one he married, and despises her.

He refused to acknowledge the children from the other woman (she had twins) until one of them developed cancer and he was contacted for bone marrow transplant reasons. By then, he had alienated the children born in wedlock - not hard to do when you despise their mother and you have to deal with custody issues, and you're a pompous asshole. (He is. He lost his LA privileges early on.)

He's married to a woman now with no kids of her own - and a fairly clear desire for a childfree life. From day one.

We begin to talk about having kids of our own, somehow the conversation always goes to BIL's children - the fact we just had a family reunion doesn't help.

And we have to explain. And explain. And explain. And explain. And explain.

There just is no graceful way to do it.

Jim adores these kids, and is quick to tell anyone who wants to listen all about them - but then we have to explain. And explain. And explain.

And there's just no way to do it without being somewhat feeling dirty afterward. Gods save me from anything related to divorces.

Comments

[luscious-purple.livejournal.com]

LA privileges = Los Angeles privileges???

[djdig.livejournal.com]

and one the courts determined became pregnant while he was unaware.

That must be some long story. *scratches head*

You, my dear, are going to make a wonderful Mom. The 1st day I met you you reminded me of my Mother and you were so welcoming, it was wonderful.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

*big smile*

"Oh, it's okay. We're planning to adopt, so it's not like *our* kids will have the genetic traits of any of *those* people."

...not helping, I know.


By the way, yay for the start date - and yay for you feeling better, hopefully.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

I read it as "legal adult privileges" at first, which probably isn't correct either, but I sure wish it was an option for some folks.

[lolleeroberts.livejournal.com]

Hell, what do YOU have to explain? The BIL is the one with issues. (Heck, it sounds like he has bound volumes but nevermind.)

I have two sisters and two brothers. One sister is married to a great guy and has two great girls. Teenagers who don't need to be drowned. The other sister is a single Mom with intimacy issues and a kid who's going to make some therapist wealthy in a few years. The brothers have equally unique and colorful family lives. Charlie and I were childfree.

I've met you and Jim and I think you'd make excellent parents. I'm not particularly interested in how screwed up your siblings are. They aren't going to be the parents.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

*dingdingding*

Yup. We're the only family in California - matter of fact, we got the "longest distance traveled" award at the reunion (which was in Tennessee).

You want to come visit, you need privileges. This guy wore it out within a year of my marrying his brother. He wore it out with Sis upon meeting her.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

It has crossed my mind, dear. *evil smirk*

I am better, but not well - YET. It's amazing. I've never had anything like this - and it reminds me acutely of the onset of CFS with you. I am making progress, but doctor is keeping very close tabs on me. Like seeing me every day tabs.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Well, we have to explain because the kids are in such a state - and why we don't see them much. I think I may have to sit down with Jim and put some better "scripts" together when talking about the nieces and nephews - ones that don't include explaining what a codpiece they had for a father.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Think "World According to Garp" long - yeah.

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

Nothing to add, really, but just thought I'd mention the possibility of locking the post. I'm not saying you have to, or should. You know your universe of people better than I do, and maybe there's nobody in it who would look at this and react the wrong way.

Pardon me, I'm gibbering.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

Oh, no - well, gut bugs can, no pun intended at all, really take it out of you; there's nothing like a lack of nutrition combined with using way too many calories to work those gut muscles unnecessarily. I hope you recover fully, and in good time. Fingers crossed.

[oy-vay-tea-time.livejournal.com]

I have half 2 sisters and 2 half brothers on my mother's side, and 4 half sisters on my father's side. I don't see any of them. And we're all happier for it. I have 22 (last count ) nieces and nephews as well. I don't see them either. Now my point is when people ask about my family, I just say that I'm estranged from them, and start talking about something else. If they ask why... I smile and say we prefer it that way... and start talking about something else. If they ask about it again... I just walk away. ^__^. Some people are just thick. I do miss my nieces and nephews sometimes. But that was when they were all little, now they are all grown and have families of their own. I just hope they're all healthy. *sigh*

And I also agree... that you and Jim would make wonderful parents, dispite family. I did/am/and continue to be a wonderfully happy person dispite my family - LOL By the by, my kids are wonderfully happy and goofy too 8P LOL

As always, your friend Annie
~.~ *Om, be one with the goofiness!*

[moropus.livejournal.com]

Hey, everybody has one. I have a 42 year old brother living with mommy. He tells his loser friends he's supporting her. It's her house, she paid it off. She makes her own car payments. They split the utilities. My conclusion: she's supporting him. And he's a college professor!

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

*chuckles* Advice taken - but if I can tell you this and make you feel better about it - I don't carry secrets if I can at all help it. I'm lazy that way, and hate having to self-censor.

I don't tell anything here that the people involved don't already know - it's part of my journal statement - "put nothing here about parties of the second part that the parties of the third part shouldn't know, don't know or would be shocked to know." This isn't the place for surprises.

You get to find out what I think - perhaps, if it wasn't abundantly clear before - but if I have issue with someone? Believe me - they know already.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

And some days, you wish they would turn into dirty rugs so you could take them out and BEAT them.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Family is your practice ground for dealing with people you have absolutely nothing in common with - someone told me that, and I've never doubted it.

[snobahr.livejournal.com]

:hugs, s'more:

I know - it's not much of reply, but just wanted to say we're thrilled about the lock-in date confirmation. And to give a gratuitous Boy pic :)

[unclejimbo.livejournal.com]

???

Hasn't anyone besides me watched Pulp Fiction?!?

:P