It's Okay - The White People Scare Me Too

[kyburg]

One more time.

You get what you ask for in this life. You don't ask for what you want, you ain't going to get it. Nobody reads your mind. And if you don't object to behavior you find - well - WRONG - don't expect anyone to get it without your help.

It also helps if you show some character yourself, of course.

And, of course, most people associate character with profession of some faith - in my honest opinion, that's nice but the commonality of most belief systems is its emphasis on character. Want it distilled down into something anyone can swallow?

There's a group based in Los Angeles that I keep using as a touchstone - their site Character Counts has been around for just about ever - and while they smack of the single-mindedness of any organization solely interested in a belief system (we know about that, right?) - their mission is amazingly simple, and it boils down to six concepts:

Trustworthiness
Be honest • Don’t deceive, cheat or steal • Be reliable — do what you say you’ll do • Have the courage to do the right thing • Build a good reputation • Be loyal — stand by your family, friends and country

Respect
Treat others with respect; follow the Golden Rule • Be tolerant of differences • Use good manners, not bad language • Be considerate of the feelings of others • Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone • Deal peacefully with anger, insults and disagreements

Responsibility
Do what you are supposed to do • Persevere: keep on trying! • Always do your best • Use self-control • Be self-disciplined • Think before you act — consider the consequences • Be accountable for your choices

Fairness
Play by the rules • Take turns and share • Be open-minded; listen to others • Don’t take advantage of others • Don’t blame others carelessly

Caring
Be kind • Be compassionate and show you care • Express gratitude • Forgive others • Help people in need

Citizenship
Do your share to make your school and community better • Cooperate • Get involved in community affairs • Stay informed; vote • Be a good neighbor • Obey laws and rules • Respect authority • Protect the environment

Sounds pretty conservative, right?

When was the last time anyone "conservative" actually tied to this kind of thing?

..

I'll get around to discussing AX with this mind - and yes, discussion of a that convention with this mind is critical. Because it appeared, start to finish - that nobody - NOBODY - had a clue about anything related to basic human character, or even appealing to anything but the most base instincts a group of young adults could come up with. And this kind of thing HAS to start at the top - they set the tone, the rules and the expectations.

More reasons to take another look at this? Look at the news -

LOS ANGELES - A jury awarded $6.2 million to a firefighter who said she was harassed by colleagues because she is black and a lesbian, harassment she says included someone mixing urine with her mouthwash.

..

Councilman Jack Weiss said the verdict was "very alarming to anyone who has a fiduciary responsibility over the city budget."

"The most important thing is to reform the Fire Department," he said. "There's new leadership. ... Hopefully that will prevent these sorts of lawsuits."

This should concern you - because the reaction from authority? It's expensive. Not wrong, oh no. EXPENSIVE. (Now, I'll take it - today - but WHAT.) All anyone has to do is decide that the lawsuits are just too expensive and enact legislation removing the option. It's already happened in Workman's Comp. You know other examples. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE FACT THIS SHIT IS JUST WRONG?

WICHITA, Kan. - As a stabbing victim lay dying on the floor of a Kansas convenience store, five shoppers, including one who stopped to take a picture of her with a cell phone, stepped over the woman, police said.

..

"The lack of concern for humanity over this young woman's life is deeply troubling," Bassham said.

Bassham said the district attorney's office would have to decide whether any of the shoppers could be charged.

It was uncertain what law, if any, would be applicable. A state statute for failure to render aid specifically refers only to victims of a car accident.

I wonder what the liability is for someone who actually takes action - everyone knows about that. You can get SUED!

Folks - you get what you ask for. You also get what you put up with.

And I can vouch for the reciprocation - it's definitely there. People respond to kindness and good treatment like flowers respond to sunlight and fresh water.

Always do your best.
Clean up your own messes.
Be aware of your impact on others.

I'm one of the people who always reports disabled vehicles on the freeway. Jim and I have rolled on more SUV rollovers than I want to name - we've been first on the scene more than a few times.

I'm always good for a burger - and I always have a sugar source in my purse (long training as the wife of a diabetic). Both of us track on crying children in crowds. Jim's particularly good at finding children separated from parents (but I attribute that to the altitude of his eyes - at 6'4", he can look over everyone's head most of the time).

We live in community with everyone else we see.

Forget that at your own risk.

Comments

[poetpaladin.livejournal.com]

Donna, sometimes I think people need mandatory citizenship classes in high school because their parents obviously haven't been there.

The last time I offered helped someone was a couple of weeks ago, when a woman fell down some steps outside a medical building a few. I helped her pick up some papers.

The last major time I helped someone was sometime last year when I witnessed a car hit a woman. I helped the woman to the curb and left her in the care of a middle-aged couple who had also stopped and come running when they saw the accident.

[lolleeroberts.livejournal.com]

When I graduated from nursing school I was told to a. never put anything on my car saying I was a nurse and b. never wear my lab jacket outside the hospital or hang it up in my back seat where it was visible and c. never, ever, under any circumstances, stop and render aid in an emergency. Why? Because if someone knew I was a nurse and I didn't stop to render aid I could get sued or charged with a crime. And if I stopped I could get sued if anything bad happened.

My response? F*ck that noise. I see a wreck or emergency and no first responders with flashing lights on the scene? I'm stopping. I told Charlie that and he was behind me 100%. His attitude was you've got to pay rent on the space you occupy and acting like a decent human being is how you do it. I've stopped to render act half a dozen times, easily, and I've never gotten anything other than a thank you.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Most of the nurses I know are much the same - particularly the older ones. *laughs* Matter of fact, there are days we wonder if people don't just drop in front of us like they knew we were coming....

Oh yeah. Fuck that noise. In the ear.

[turandot.livejournal.com]

I wonder what the liability is for someone who actually takes action - everyone knows about that. You can get SUED!

You forget that most states have some sort of Good Samaritan Laws in the books, so that in order to sue someone in Tort for damages incurred as a result of that person having tried to save you from death, a plaintiff has the burden to prove that the defendant acted either irrationally, in bad faith, or went above and beyond their training insofar as first aid is concerned. This means that while it is true that you should probably not administer CPR on someone unless you're certified to do so (and that certification can be obtained through several Red Cross programs with a minimum commitment of time and money). But there are many things one can do: call 911; stay onsite and relay as much information as you have once first responders show up; if the injured is awake and aware, stay by his/her side to make sure they remain so until help arrives. Just doing something, anything you are able to on the behalf of someone who is injured and needs help, is not gonna make you liable for what happens to that person. As such, the sort of behavior that other shoppers displayed cannot be excused as "I didn't want to get sued".

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

All anyone has to do is say it - the fear of liability in our culture today is truly something to behold.

[kiva-oraibi.livejournal.com]

I dunno. As a photographer, I could see myself not taking immediate action to "assist" but rather to document the incident.

I'm not saying the person with a cell phone is a photojournalist, but as a photojournalist myself, I'd like to reserve the right to observe rather than be mandated, by law, to become part of the story.

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, Citizenship... what am I missing here? I count five.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Good eye. FIXED.

[stormdragon.livejournal.com]

To: Humans
From: Me
Subject: Anyone who would stand by while a person is in dire need of assistance...

STOP BREATHING MY AIR!!!

Your presence on this planet is unnecessary and the resources being used to sustain your useless ass can be put to better use raising rock moss.

Having said that. There should not be a law forcing people to stop and render aid. If someone is enough of a douche nozzle as to just stand by while a person is dying without at least making sure that there is at least SOMEONE rendering aid, then that is their right - just like it's my right to view and treat them in a manner befitting such a waste of skin.

[riverheart.livejournal.com]

Well, yes. To me, it's obvious. What makes me go WTF is that it isn't obvious to everyone.

[nagasvoice.livejournal.com]

Great post, thanks!
I would add to those great last two lines, that we're also in community with people we've never seen.
As others have noted, we stand on the shoulders of giants. Most of the time we're hardly aware of the privileges we have, or how small a circle it is--or how much truly ethical behavior would make simple good sense. Of course it would help our own economics, our own survival, if we helped share some of the most basic support with others in the wider world. Of course that's an excuse to persuade folks to do something they haven't the ethical or common sense to realize is to their own benefit, but I suspect the golden rule ften operates that way.
Then there's those we will never have a chance to see. Our greenhouse gases may make the planet that much more difficult for grandchildren and great grandchildren.

[ionotter.livejournal.com]

I'm honored to be able to say that I've been a "first-responder" to many incidents in my life.

The most memorable-and frightening-one was at SUNY Cobleskill.

I was walking into my dorm, when I saw a crowd of people all standing in a circle. I asked someone what'd happened, and they said some guy had collapsed. I dropped my bag and dashed out there, asked people to get out of the way and came upon a horrifying scene.

The man was 6'3", black, face and teeth bashed in, eyes rolled in the back of his head and snarling like an angry tiger, locked in a grand-mal seizure. He'd been walking along and simply switched off like a light and went face-first into the concrete and started thrashing in front of everyone.

I got there and established the ABC, then started giving out instructions. You, go to the gym and call an ambulance. You, give me your jacket, someone go get me a blanket too. Who knows him? What's his name? Here, you hold his feet up.

The most crucial bit was when I got his room keys from his pocket, gave them to his best friend and told him, "Go grab a pillowcase from his room and take all the pill bottles in his drawers and bring them back here, they're going to need them at the hospital!" They ran the whole way there and the whole way back in time to give them to the ambulance crew. I don't know if that saved his life, but it certainly made a difference.

In this instance, I can't fault anyone for not helping. I knew what was going on and why he'd turned into a demon-possessed monster spewing froth and blood. They didn't. And even for me, it was terrifying.

A few days later, I was in the dining hall when the student president of the campus NAACP stood up in front of everyone and gave me a salute. That felt good. I was a very singular individual too, as I was the only one on campus that wore a wool poncho and cowboy hat most of the school year, so everyone knew me on sight. And that poncho helped keep Darryl warm that day.

I can't recall the number of people I've helped over the years. People's vehicles getting stuck in soft sand, snow banks, mud, and remote areas. Broken down vehicles being towed to a station, sometimes at great peril due to a lack of experience being towed. A car fire extinguished on the road, first-aid rendered, fire-departments called, police tipped off to shady characters and shenanigans.

Hah! One guy I towed out of a bowl-lake, up the cliff, through the woods, over the backroads and straight into his own driveway tried to give me $100 for it. He was pulling out his wallet, and I'm like, "Oh no, it's alright..." I see Ben Franklin coming out and I'm like, "NO-NO-NO! REALLY, IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!" as I'm shifting my eyes to the sky so I don't have to look at the money.

And every single time I've been in trouble, had a problem or was in need of some kind of help, it has always been there for me, without fail.

Now, a little something to make you happy again...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfX-s4dcYBg

[tomlemos.livejournal.com]

I've always lived my life using Robert Fulgham's "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten".

Between that and karma, seems to serve me well.

[moropus.livejournal.com]

I'm a coward. Ever since my dog saved me from being robbed at a gas station, I'm afraid to stop. I call 911 and do not stop, because I'm afraid it is a trap. Many years ago, my then employer had all the ladies watch this film on not getting attacked. Then somebody tried to rob me. One of my old friends used to give me hell for driving around with my doors unlocked, too. I used to be young and strong and brave and invincible, but that wore off a while back.

But if somebody was laying on the floor of a store, I would call for help. That doesn't take lots of brains. I always call for help. I am appalled people would act like this.

I don't understand the employees not calling for help as soon as the fight started.