I'd like a swimming pool, please.
Mar. 18th, 2008 12:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgJust for about an hour. That's all I'd need. Needs a deep end about 10' deep - and after I'm done, you can take it back and get a refund.
I need to push my husband in it, y'see. FLING him in so hard he hovers above the surface for a millisecond or two before he hits the water.
He's over here if you want a gander. Why?
Not because he almost screwed the pooch on his licensure (and lose that, you lose your job, instantly...do not pass GO, do not collect...you get the drift). No - because he lost his perspective almost instantaneously when he realized his mistake.
He's learning. But I still think he needed a round in the dunk tank.
Making mistakes is something we all do - and as close as we play some of our life's necessities, something like this is always a possibility. (Yeah, this is getting a column all its own in the household budget from now on...the time budget as well.)
Somewhere along the line, I got the lesson that doing something besides dealing with what was scaring me, when I was terrified, was not an option. Jim - didn't have the Cliff experience. Maybe that was it? Maybe not?
All I know is that when shit happens, I'm covered in it until the shit stops happening. No taking breaks to run in circles, scream and shout. But that's me. The only way out is through, remember?
I just wish I could teach it. How to stay completely centered when terrified, that is. The rest is just practice, personal choice and experience. He's miserable today, and I'd spare him that.
Today, I'm a bit off-center for the experience. I just spent the last twelve hours trying to figure out what would happen if a bit more than half our income went bye-bye overnight. Parking the cars and walking to work (for me) was just the beginning.
And I can see the stress - I forgot the cell phone, and exchanged my glasses at lunch instead of pulling out my eating kit to have lunch. Oops. Don't ask me to remember names or phone numbers right now - it's a crapshoot.
Yay humanity and our 12% error rate.
Making a mistake - okay. Making another one, reacting to the first one? People do it all the time - but it's STOOPID. Let's not.
....
Getting tickets from Ticketmaster for the Pillows thing last week had an unexpected benefit - Ticketmaster and iTunes have teamed up with a promotion - one free download per ticket, codes sent by email. Schweet.
So...I go see the Pillows AND get two free songs! What do I get?
Uh, Todd Rundgren and Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons. Worse, the latter is a cover of a Frank Sinatra tune. *facepalms* And then I couldn't stop listening to them. I really missed those songs!
I am officially weird when it comes to music. I still think of doing that 'stepping back to the 80's' party...and then think again about 'shoving it all the way back to the 60's' - then get really ambitious and just say WTF QUANTUM LEAP it for four hours, I'm over forty, I could come up with something different for each hour!
I need to be tossed in the dunk tank.
....
We've gotten a package from the adoption agency - our paperwork is aging out and is going to need updates. New INS forms. New fingerprints. Update on the homestudy. Yay.
The Wordpress account holder who found me has deleted the portion of the blog that discussed me; and that kind of saddens me in a way. Her viewpoint and feelings were quite valid and she was completely dead nuts in the black to say something about it. If you think being an adoptee, and really wanting to know your first identity is acceptable and appropriate...and natural...please remember her.
Because when they say that all they hear is SHUTUPSHUTUP and go away...and GET OVER YOURSELF...every time they want to talk about this...they're not lying. It's everywhere. Everywhere you talk about adoption.
You know...every time I see some say SHUT UP AND GO AWAY like this? I imagine someone with their fingers in the ears, turning away. Who wants to have any kind of meaningful discussion with someone like that? Problem is, those are the people who you have to deal with - if you were adopted domestically - if your adoption is sealed and you live in a state that doesn't allow you access to the records, and you want them. I'd be angry, too. Hrm. Am pissed, who am I kidding? There's nothing right about this.
....
I used to write fan fiction while I was driving airport shuttle, going through college. I had hours of layover time - I can show you the little diner that was open to the wee hours that we all used as a layover area waiting for something to come back to Ontario from LAX - so I had a pad of paper and mechanical pencils and time to burn, baby.
I was also reading Man From UNCLE books and reading other people's stuff back then too - keep in mind, this is 1983, 84 or so? At three in the morning?
Yeah. Plot bunnies bite REAL hard about then. I came up with a doozy of an idea that I was SURE people would kill me for if I ever wrote it. Something that worked with MUNCLE as a multiple decade issue, what with the TV movie that had just come out.
I wrote a bunch, put it away, graduated and basically thought of it fondly afterward.
Well, I played some music this week and the plot bunny woke up.
I'm now closer in age to my characters, and the plotting is easier too.
I *could* spend some hours writing this thing - and have people keeeeel me. Or I could just keep Simming for hours, instead.
Quandry. Plot bunnies are evil when denied, though. And I can't play that CD without plot taking over, either. Crap.
....
Easter Sunday picnic called off due to lack of interest - and Sis is doing something low-key at her house, and Jim is working. Path of least resistance. Yay.
Yup. Jim's birthday is next week, y'all.
Somebody can give him a swimming pool.
I need to push my husband in it, y'see. FLING him in so hard he hovers above the surface for a millisecond or two before he hits the water.
He's over here if you want a gander. Why?
Not because he almost screwed the pooch on his licensure (and lose that, you lose your job, instantly...do not pass GO, do not collect...you get the drift). No - because he lost his perspective almost instantaneously when he realized his mistake.
He's learning. But I still think he needed a round in the dunk tank.
Making mistakes is something we all do - and as close as we play some of our life's necessities, something like this is always a possibility. (Yeah, this is getting a column all its own in the household budget from now on...the time budget as well.)
Somewhere along the line, I got the lesson that doing something besides dealing with what was scaring me, when I was terrified, was not an option. Jim - didn't have the Cliff experience. Maybe that was it? Maybe not?
All I know is that when shit happens, I'm covered in it until the shit stops happening. No taking breaks to run in circles, scream and shout. But that's me. The only way out is through, remember?
I just wish I could teach it. How to stay completely centered when terrified, that is. The rest is just practice, personal choice and experience. He's miserable today, and I'd spare him that.
Today, I'm a bit off-center for the experience. I just spent the last twelve hours trying to figure out what would happen if a bit more than half our income went bye-bye overnight. Parking the cars and walking to work (for me) was just the beginning.
And I can see the stress - I forgot the cell phone, and exchanged my glasses at lunch instead of pulling out my eating kit to have lunch. Oops. Don't ask me to remember names or phone numbers right now - it's a crapshoot.
Yay humanity and our 12% error rate.
Making a mistake - okay. Making another one, reacting to the first one? People do it all the time - but it's STOOPID. Let's not.
....
Getting tickets from Ticketmaster for the Pillows thing last week had an unexpected benefit - Ticketmaster and iTunes have teamed up with a promotion - one free download per ticket, codes sent by email. Schweet.
So...I go see the Pillows AND get two free songs! What do I get?
Uh, Todd Rundgren and Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons. Worse, the latter is a cover of a Frank Sinatra tune. *facepalms* And then I couldn't stop listening to them. I really missed those songs!
I am officially weird when it comes to music. I still think of doing that 'stepping back to the 80's' party...and then think again about 'shoving it all the way back to the 60's' - then get really ambitious and just say WTF QUANTUM LEAP it for four hours, I'm over forty, I could come up with something different for each hour!
I need to be tossed in the dunk tank.
....
We've gotten a package from the adoption agency - our paperwork is aging out and is going to need updates. New INS forms. New fingerprints. Update on the homestudy. Yay.
The Wordpress account holder who found me has deleted the portion of the blog that discussed me; and that kind of saddens me in a way. Her viewpoint and feelings were quite valid and she was completely dead nuts in the black to say something about it. If you think being an adoptee, and really wanting to know your first identity is acceptable and appropriate...and natural...please remember her.
Because when they say that all they hear is SHUTUPSHUTUP and go away...and GET OVER YOURSELF...every time they want to talk about this...they're not lying. It's everywhere. Everywhere you talk about adoption.
You know...every time I see some say SHUT UP AND GO AWAY like this? I imagine someone with their fingers in the ears, turning away. Who wants to have any kind of meaningful discussion with someone like that? Problem is, those are the people who you have to deal with - if you were adopted domestically - if your adoption is sealed and you live in a state that doesn't allow you access to the records, and you want them. I'd be angry, too. Hrm. Am pissed, who am I kidding? There's nothing right about this.
....
I used to write fan fiction while I was driving airport shuttle, going through college. I had hours of layover time - I can show you the little diner that was open to the wee hours that we all used as a layover area waiting for something to come back to Ontario from LAX - so I had a pad of paper and mechanical pencils and time to burn, baby.
I was also reading Man From UNCLE books and reading other people's stuff back then too - keep in mind, this is 1983, 84 or so? At three in the morning?
Yeah. Plot bunnies bite REAL hard about then. I came up with a doozy of an idea that I was SURE people would kill me for if I ever wrote it. Something that worked with MUNCLE as a multiple decade issue, what with the TV movie that had just come out.
I wrote a bunch, put it away, graduated and basically thought of it fondly afterward.
Well, I played some music this week and the plot bunny woke up.
I'm now closer in age to my characters, and the plotting is easier too.
I *could* spend some hours writing this thing - and have people keeeeel me. Or I could just keep Simming for hours, instead.
Quandry. Plot bunnies are evil when denied, though. And I can't play that CD without plot taking over, either. Crap.
....
Easter Sunday picnic called off due to lack of interest - and Sis is doing something low-key at her house, and Jim is working. Path of least resistance. Yay.
Yup. Jim's birthday is next week, y'all.
Somebody can give him a swimming pool.
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no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 10:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-19 12:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 10:36 pm (UTC)But you're not alone in wishing parents would be more forthcoming about family history - even us bio kids wonder sometimes. I think that's pretty common - but also acknowledging that when you're the child, people make decisions for you...right, wrong or indifferent...even though we're the ones that have to make do with the outcome, neh? Not fair. But then again, fair is always negotiated, it's never a given. *sighs*
no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 10:20 pm (UTC)As you know, I'm a huge fan of his music. But at the same time, I understand why so many people dislike his music. Or maybe I don't and want to!
no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 10:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 11:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-19 12:09 am (UTC)Send anything to the POB - 1601 N. Sepulveda Blvd., #772, Manhattan Beach, CA 90266.