And on the B Side -

[kyburg]

Four years ago she seemed to have it all. A good job. Two little girls she loved. And a newly renovated home in Roseville for the three of them to enjoy.

On Thursday, however, Sylvia Sieferman, 60, sat alone, a knife in front of her, bleeding heavily from her neck. Police said she was near the front steps of the family's new home in Roseville, about a half-mile from the one they apparently could no longer afford, yelling to police officers: "Kill me! Kill me!"

Single parent, recently relocated to a new home because she couldn't afford the one they had - two months after discharge for fears of wanting to harm her kids.

Nobody knew.

And I'll bet nobody else would have heard about it except she'd adopted her children.

..

This makes me sad in places few things can reach - but at the same time, I know. You think there will be help - and in all honesty, in the beginning, there is. But when it REALLY gets down to the rubber meeting the road...you're on your own. And our current culture just thinks that's peachy.

Nebraska wants to enable anyone to relinquish their kids to the system, up to the age of 19. Would someone like to explain to me where the support system for that is?

Because there's a family in pieces in Minnesota right now that could have used it.

Comments

[forestcats.livejournal.com]

People fear failure and the lack of power. There are still more infants found dead in the trash than are turned into hospital/fire station/safe drops.

Right after the couple in PA dropped their severely developmentally disabled child off in the ER there was a string of suicides in England by parents of special needs children. There the system has very limited respite care and denial if care is very common.

Mrs. Clintons lip service of 'it takes a village to rear a child' hasn't seen the follow through in public services. Churches have followed through and provide many social services to their members.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

True, but it doesn't end there either.

Were you aware that the big mega-church down the street pulls a credit history if you apply for membership there?

I am so sick of hearing 'I don't have to!' - sooner or later, we all have to...or there's nothing for when we need it, and that's just as certain!

[forestcats.livejournal.com]

There is a "Jesus over Six Flags" 14 acre site in Rancho Cucamonga that scares me LOL.

[cahwyguy.livejournal.com]

Were you aware that the big mega-church down the street pulls a credit history if you apply for membership there?

Well, I can't answer for churches, but I know synagogues (which typically do have membership dues, except for some O ones like Chabad) usually have a way to get subsidized dues. I don't think they pull a credit history, but there usually is some paperwork required -- which supposedly is confidential, and the Rabbi supposedly doesn't know which members are on dues waiver or not. Usually that information is the provance of the cong. president, treasurer, and perhaps one other representative (as well as the office, which does the billing, of course).

[violet-tigress1.livejournal.com]

Church help always has strings attached. You might not see them, but they are there.

[the-paulr.livejournal.com]

There are still more infants found dead in the trash than are turned into hospital/fire station/safe drops.

Citation, please?

Churches have followed through and provide many social services to their members.

Some do, some don't. Of the ones that do many of them will only help their own members, or people who share their particular faith.

That makes them kind of useless for people like me who don't share a mainstream faith.

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

*SIGH*

Churches are not the answer.

Nor is blaming Mrs. Clinton's "lipservice"...

Especially considering the GOP had control of Congress at the time, and a lot of people derided the "It takes a village" thing and turned it around as "I'll raise my family the way I see fit. Keep your ()&*(#$() nose out of my business" sort of thing.

Don't believe me? I heard it happen immediately after she said what she did.

Okay. yeah. I'm jaded.

But I also wonder what would have happened had these kids not been adopted?

And remember... this woman has not been the only one who tried to kill her kids and herself because of various problems.

Depression makes people irrational. I know. I lived in my own damn head for 14 years with it constantly. I'm getting out from under it more and more but there are times I end up right back in it and wonder WTF?!

C.

yes and no

[sekl.livejournal.com]

Some churches may be able to help with children, but they rarely help pay the mortgage.

A friend lost her husband and was left with two children with chronic medical conditions. He refused to pay anything, moved home with his parents, quit his job and very soon she lost the house.

The whole church came to help her move out before the bank closed the doors. Even helped her save the piano.

But all the stuff they saved just had to be sold and she moved in with a friend.

[amilyn.livejournal.com]

This is so terribly sad. We have such limited structure and willingness as a society to help people who are desperate and overwhelmed, even when they take the step to cry out for help.

The girls are beautiful, and I hope that the lives of all three women in this situation can be salvaged, along with possibly some relationships. I do think that this would have made the news whether the girls were adopted or not; women killing or attacking their children is always news. Men doing the same (as they do every how many minutes in this country??) is just "more of the same."

I do, however, agree that almost every story that hits the news about adoption is about "that adopted kid who went crazy" or "that family who adopted kids then kept them in cages" or "this is Just So Inspirational" and never the commonplace, everyday LIVES of people whose normal is a family built through adoption. :-(

[yeoww.livejournal.com]

There is not much of a support system for emotional distress of any kind in the USA (I don't know about other countries, being very untraveled). We're still to a large extent expected to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and simply cope.

[elizanikole.livejournal.com]

When people are THIS long past the point of help - church is a dangerous place to turn. I say that because church clergy are NOT trained officials. Not to mention that when someone is THIS far gone... they're not just depressed they're having a psychotic sort of episode. Introducing religion and psychosis ? Well, then you get drowned babies in the bathtub because she hears God's voice telling her to.

/end rant

This is ..really sad. I disagree though with this: And I'll bet nobody else would have heard about it except she'd adopted her children

The media (and America) LOVES to persecute bad parents, particularly bad mothers. I think while the economy is going downward and the world is (seemingly_ spinning out of control we'll hear about almost everything like this that happens. Which is really sad - because this was a totally private, totally horrible thing that happened to this family.