w00t w00t booyah

For those of you who missed it last year, about this time last year, I did this thing.

So, let's revisit the predictions, shall we? I don't really make resolutions, per ce anymore - I sort of know what's going to make my life interesting in the Buddhist sense, I just try to stay out of its way.

If Mom leaves this year, the dynamics that will change within my family of origin will be earth-splitting. Even if she doesn't, I expect some things will resolve, morph a bit and could either improve dramatically or hit the toilet.

Some of all of this, and none of it. Let's be blunt - at this point Mom simply being here on a day-to-day basis is up for grabs after the last go-round, and frankly? I think she's pretty much coming to grips with the fact that while she may be here - not many of her friends are (and one is so demented it's breaking her heart). She may not want to be done - and that simply may be the reason she's still here, and the only reason. Once she decides she's done - it will be. She's just that frail.

As we continue to adapt, us to Xander and Xander to us, some attention will be paid to the amount of weight we both put on while trying to wheedle him to eat more, and more often. Both of us put on thirty pounds each, easily. It took me nine months to take that off before, I know I can do it again - getting Jim to play along? May not be nearly as successful.

No movement here, and Xander's transition from preschool into kindergarten just about gutted us all over again. The fact that none of us lost ground I'm taking as a personal best.

I've been thinking a LOT about Ranma: Motherhood (both in a 'YEAH I WANNA GET SOMETHING DONE' and a cringing, more than a little embarrassed 'there are a LOT of things wrong with this, not the least of which is that this is fan fiction' - and have not found five minutes to actually, yanno, stop and WRITE part of it. Something else will have to give way for me to get that time, but damn if I know what it's going to be. But I want to fix what's broken with this ditty and get it done.

Thinking a lot - doing a lot? Not so much, not when everything else has priority - and remaining fed, clothed and sleeping indoors has priority. That's life.

Doesn't mean I've stopped thinking about it, though. ;)

I hope we continue to wait for Sierra. But today, it's not a sure thing at all.

Still locked and loaded, still at least a year away. But yes - still waiting, and now with added convert the office into her room for this year!

I'm going to see my friends up north more often. So be it.

That's nice. The universe laughs at you.

We are going to formalize the godparent committee, on paper, in legal form, as part of our wills.

More than one bump in the road this year killed this plan deader than hell. Really on the fence at this point because Sis? While a good choice, isn't a GREAT choice at this point. And the rest of the candidates? Not on the gripping hand most of the time.

Sucks.

I am going to do whatever I can to get to Hawaii this year. It's the 10th anniversary, and it deserves something special.

Whatever was about it. We're going to be paying off everyone else we pushed to the side to pay for Hawaii for a good part of the first half of 2012. Worth it. Want to go back right now.

We're not going to make many changes as far as jobs go, if we are very fortunate - it's working as it is, and I don't need to rock the boat.

BWAHAHA. Me and my second job laugh in your face.

Garden in the back, hopefully with more variety of things - I managed some VERY nice tomatoes this year, but that was about the extent of it. But I did grow actual edible food back there. It can be done.

I think this is the year we bite the bullet and turn that garage conversion into a cabana. All we have to do is take it down to the I-beam and finish up/clean up the seams. But the rest of it is a total loss and getting scarier all the time.

Okay, pie in the sky:
We find a way to fund the rehab and get started.

BWAHAHAHA - yeah, right. We tried. It's not there yet, so converting the office into a second kid's room this year. We're going to be paying 'I don't want to get rid of my stuff' hope money for a storage space instead of doing rehab. Why? The figure is less, month to month. That's the only reason.

So let's write some predictions for 2012 down, shall we?

Mom isn't going to make it through 2012 - maybe to see her great-grandson graduate high school, but anything past that? It's getting into scary-careville out there - and there's already a come to Jesus Skype session planned for this month. Sis wants her private practice, and really? It's getting to be too much for lil' bro too. So expect changes - and it includes Mom finishing things up here and getting out of Dodge.

If I still have two jobs at the end of 2012, I'll be amazed at old gig's resilience and sheer audacity. When one company's password is encrypted on 'ohEFFmeitscold' and the other as a warm and hearty greeting? There you go. Love the new gig - lots to do, lots more to do as time goes on.

Maybe I'll have some luck explaining the concept of 'I have to do things I hate to have the things I love' - and in this economy, with the demands I willingly put on myself? The things I hate take up the lion's share - and if I put myself out for 'the fun things' and it turns into impossible situations and misery? I've already pulled away from doing the fun things because I found out it was killing me inside instead of making me happy - now, try to explain that without insulting people. Good luck.

The second trick to streamline to make time for the fun things again.

Take that back house down to a cabana that retains the laundry room, bathroom and wee room off it - which immediately makes it possible to use them as such.

Put that damn garden in. Pay $$$ to get help if I have to.

Keep Xander at the head of his class, if at all possible - he's already there, just need to make sure he can keep it up. Get some swimming classes in, something else to get him on his feet and moving -

Pie in the sky:

Back to Hawaii.

Back to St. Louis/Minneapolis.

And read all the damn books, play all the damn games and keep the damn house in one piece.

2011? You were one hell of a year. Mean it.

2012? So far, you're friendly and dynamic. I like it!

See you next year!

2010, you were very pretty. Very pretty indeed. In some places, horrifying.

For those of you playing at home, here's last year's post to refresh your memories.

I'm pretty satisfied with the results - I intentionally low-balled last year's predictions because 2009? Was made of flames, shards of broken glass and pure terror. So I hit everything pretty much on the head without trying hard, really.

The recap:

I think we won't see much action on Sierra's adoption, though we will likely get a firmer grasp on the when and if as the year progresses.

Dead in the black. The only thing still up in the air right now is if we can keep our file active as we borked getting the updates in on time - if we don't, we have to refile on our side using Hague paperwork as opposed to being grandfathered under pre-Hague regulations. If we remain in the game, it's still a year and a half, possibly two - STILL. China only got through less than six months of LIDs this entire year - this year starts out June of 2006. We, for the record? Are LID 2/27/07. When you only get through 3 - 5 days every 30-50 days, that's still a bit of a wait.

Xander will continue to adapt to us as his family, and us to him. I expect everything in the book. I am likely not going to see everything, though.

Also, just as predicted. We're still made aware every time we try to stay out of routine very long, just how huge the transition to him - and we all pay, trust me, in frustration, anxiety and anger. But every time we challenge it, and come out on top? It gets better. In all honesty. It just gets easier, better all the time.

Mom - I hope she makes it to see Sierra come home. It's a day to day thing - but she's far more stable than she was even two years ago. As long as she's happy, I hope she hangs in there. It is what it is, and I am content.

More stable, even when once or twice this year some blood work or a bug made us wonder a bit how things were going. Yup. She's still doing well. I have to keep it out there that this is all borrowed, bought, negotiated time - and it's not forever, but. Today? It's good and I'm okay with that.

I need to make a huge effort to be a better friend this year. Return calls, write thank you notes and try to make time without involving the kid to spend time with them. I am getting not-so-subtle cues that I'm a bore and a trial lately. Guilty as charged - I'm hip.

I think about this daily. And I do what I can. But the fact that the Christmas cards are still not out is proof of the pudding - life continues to use me like too little butter over too much bread. I try to be my best every time - and some days, I'm better than others. This, like most things, remains a work in progress.

I want to find a way to get an automatic dishwasher in - if I can do that much, I can ride out the wait to rehab the entire house. As it is, we'll have to move everything out of the little house into proper storage as it continues to deteriorate. There's no choice in the matter anymore.

We had the money. For about 24 hours and then Jim's car blew the head gasket. That's where the dishwasher went. It looks like a driveable car, but it's a dishwasher - just squint a little.

Tie a big knot in it and hope we continue to survive this recession in one piece. We have been VERY fortunate.

We're both working harder, having taken on more responsibilities at both our jobs. We're hanging in there. Jim is making more (yay Union Contracts), but I haven't seen a raise since I went permanent with the company in 2009 and I don't expect one anytime soon. I'm still looking at ways to rein in any unnecessary money leaving the house - but so far, so good. And I think we're going to see the economy get better this year (it's actually been getting better, it's just not translating into a lot of jobs yet) - it's just a matter of waiting it out.

Whipped cream - a trip outside of the obligatory one to Kentucky this June. Hawaii would make me very happy. Japan would make me ecstatic.

We made the trip to Kentucky. Just. There won't be another one for the forseable. Hawaii? Japan? That would require money, and most of this year there wasn't any. The universe laughs at me.

So, let's throw some darts at this year and see which ones stick.

If Mom leaves this year, the dynamics that will change within my family of origin will be earth-splitting. Even if she doesn't, I expect some things will resolve, morph a bit and could either improve dramatically or hit the toilet.

As we continue to adapt, us to Xander and Xander to us, some attention will be paid to the amount of weight we both put on while trying to wheedle him to eat more, and more often. Both of us put on thirty pounds each, easily. It took me nine months to take that off before, I know I can do it again - getting Jim to play along? May not be nearly as successful.

I've been thinking a LOT about Ranma: Motherhood (both in a 'YEAH I WANNA GET SOMETHING DONE' and a cringing, more than a little embarrassed 'there are a LOT of things wrong with this, not the least of which is that this is fan fiction' - and have not found five minutes to actually, yanno, stop and WRITE part of it. Something else will have to give way for me to get that time, but damn if I know what it's going to be. But I want to fix what's broken with this ditty and get it done.

I hope we continue to wait for Sierra. But today, it's not a sure thing at all.

I'm going to see my friends up north more often. So be it.

We are going to formalize the godparent committee, on paper, in legal form, as part of our wills.

I am going to do whatever I can to get to Hawaii this year. It's the 10th anniversary, and it deserves something special.

We're not going to make many changes as far as jobs go, if we are very fortunate - it's working as it is, and I don't need to rock the boat.

Garden in the back, hopefully with more variety of things - I managed some VERY nice tomatoes this year, but that was about the extent of it. But I did grow actual edible food back there. It can be done.

Okay, pie in the sky:

We find a way to fund the rehab and get started.

2011, so far? You are peaceful and accommodating. I'll take it.

2010 - thanks for everything. No, really. Thanks. I will probably miss you a lot.

2010, you were very pretty. Very pretty indeed. In some places, horrifying.

For those of you playing at home, here's last year's post to refresh your memories.

I'm pretty satisfied with the results - I intentionally low-balled last year's predictions because 2009? Was made of flames, shards of broken glass and pure terror. So I hit everything pretty much on the head without trying hard, really.

The recap:

I think we won't see much action on Sierra's adoption, though we will likely get a firmer grasp on the when and if as the year progresses.

Dead in the black. The only thing still up in the air right now is if we can keep our file active as we borked getting the updates in on time - if we don't, we have to refile on our side using Hague paperwork as opposed to being grandfathered under pre-Hague regulations. If we remain in the game, it's still a year and a half, possibly two - STILL. China only got through less than six months of LIDs this entire year - this year starts out June of 2006. We, for the record? Are LID 2/27/07. When you only get through 3 - 5 days every 30-50 days, that's still a bit of a wait.

Xander will continue to adapt to us as his family, and us to him. I expect everything in the book. I am likely not going to see everything, though.

Also, just as predicted. We're still made aware every time we try to stay out of routine very long, just how huge the transition to him - and we all pay, trust me, in frustration, anxiety and anger. But every time we challenge it, and come out on top? It gets better. In all honesty. It just gets easier, better all the time.

Mom - I hope she makes it to see Sierra come home. It's a day to day thing - but she's far more stable than she was even two years ago. As long as she's happy, I hope she hangs in there. It is what it is, and I am content.

More stable, even when once or twice this year some blood work or a bug made us wonder a bit how things were going. Yup. She's still doing well. I have to keep it out there that this is all borrowed, bought, negotiated time - and it's not forever, but. Today? It's good and I'm okay with that.

I need to make a huge effort to be a better friend this year. Return calls, write thank you notes and try to make time without involving the kid to spend time with them. I am getting not-so-subtle cues that I'm a bore and a trial lately. Guilty as charged - I'm hip.

I think about this daily. And I do what I can. But the fact that the Christmas cards are still not out is proof of the pudding - life continues to use me like too little butter over too much bread. I try to be my best every time - and some days, I'm better than others. This, like most things, remains a work in progress.

I want to find a way to get an automatic dishwasher in - if I can do that much, I can ride out the wait to rehab the entire house. As it is, we'll have to move everything out of the little house into proper storage as it continues to deteriorate. There's no choice in the matter anymore.

We had the money. For about 24 hours and then Jim's car blew the head gasket. That's where the dishwasher went. It looks like a driveable car, but it's a dishwasher - just squint a little.

Tie a big knot in it and hope we continue to survive this recession in one piece. We have been VERY fortunate.

We're both working harder, having taken on more responsibilities at both our jobs. We're hanging in there. Jim is making more (yay Union Contracts), but I haven't seen a raise since I went permanent with the company in 2009 and I don't expect one anytime soon. I'm still looking at ways to rein in any unnecessary money leaving the house - but so far, so good. And I think we're going to see the economy get better this year (it's actually been getting better, it's just not translating into a lot of jobs yet) - it's just a matter of waiting it out.

Whipped cream - a trip outside of the obligatory one to Kentucky this June. Hawaii would make me very happy. Japan would make me ecstatic.

We made the trip to Kentucky. Just. There won't be another one for the forseable. Hawaii? Japan? That would require money, and most of this year there wasn't any. The universe laughs at me.

So, let's throw some darts at this year and see which ones stick.

If Mom leaves this year, the dynamics that will change within my family of origin will be earth-splitting. Even if she doesn't, I expect some things will resolve, morph a bit and could either improve dramatically or hit the toilet.

As we continue to adapt, us to Xander and Xander to us, some attention will be paid to the amount of weight we both put on while trying to wheedle him to eat more, and more often. Both of us put on thirty pounds each, easily. It took me nine months to take that off before, I know I can do it again - getting Jim to play along? May not be nearly as successful.

I've been thinking a LOT about Ranma: Motherhood (both in a 'YEAH I WANNA GET SOMETHING DONE' and a cringing, more than a little embarrassed 'there are a LOT of things wrong with this, not the least of which is that this is fan fiction' - and have not found five minutes to actually, yanno, stop and WRITE part of it. Something else will have to give way for me to get that time, but damn if I know what it's going to be. But I want to fix what's broken with this ditty and get it done.

I hope we continue to wait for Sierra. But today, it's not a sure thing at all.

I'm going to see my friends up north more often. So be it.

We are going to formalize the godparent committee, on paper, in legal form, as part of our wills.

I am going to do whatever I can to get to Hawaii this year. It's the 10th anniversary, and it deserves something special.

We're not going to make many changes as far as jobs go, if we are very fortunate - it's working as it is, and I don't need to rock the boat.

Garden in the back, hopefully with more variety of things - I managed some VERY nice tomatoes this year, but that was about the extent of it. But I did grow actual edible food back there. It can be done.

Okay, pie in the sky:

We find a way to fund the rehab and get started.

2011, so far? You are peaceful and accommodating. I'll take it.

2010 - thanks for everything. No, really. Thanks. I will probably miss you a lot.