Nice, but not gentle.

[kyburg]

So, he continues to learn. (I have to give Jim a lot of room - I got most of my exposure to kids, and caring for them while I was still too young to drive, sign a legal contract or run away from home. He's having to do a lot of catch up.)

Last night on the drive home from daycare, the kid wanted to him see something (what, who knows - look, SHINY!) and he rear-ended someone. Everyone walked away, he's embarassed and was late getting home. Nobody hurt.

I asked if everyone was okay, and once that was confirmed - dropped it.

I made sure dinner was ready by the time they walked in the door. The kid got fed, and so did he. He never even had to get up again once he sat down.

He'd already filed the insurance claim and had his appointment for today to get the car checked. This is good, and I award props for it. Not that many years ago, he wouldn't have gotten that far.

I reassured him that stuff happens, and checked to see if Xander could go to daycare today so he wouldn't have to manage kid AND car business at the same time - as it was Friday and he had the option. This weekend, not so much - they'll be closed Monday too.

When he felt ouchy, let him get some meds for it and reassured him it was likely tension as well as fallout and if he felt it was necessary, he could go get seen as soon as kid was down. (Less than an hour, two at best.) Reassured him that this stuff happens and is survivable without marks. Even increases in insurance premiums - remember when you ran my station wagon into a pole? Don't worry about it.

Took over bath duties. Kid really did not want me going down (I'm very no-nonsense, Dad is more fun - but not last night. Dad did exactly what Mom does - and yes, he thought asking for me was going to save him. Not so much. More on this later.)

Kid went down before 8:00 PM (WIN! This is right on schedule - ) And I let the dishes slide until this morning. (Dishes are normally done by they who are NOT bathing boy.)

The first thing I asked him this morning was how he felt. Because if he needed to be seen, that was going to be the first thing on the list. He's fine. I also reminded him of what I believe about consequences - Life tends to provide plenty of its own, I don't need to do anything with regards to them when it comes to making a goof like he did. He won't do it again, I'm sure of it. End subject.

While he's in the bathroom, I check on the status of the UPS delivery we're expecting today (Ai-chan's ashes, ironically, that require a signature and nobody's been home to do it, natch) and find that while it is out for delivery, I can't get an ETA - so I sign the form and make sure it's on the door for the driver.

I also pack Xander a lunch to take to daycare, and start a load of laundry, stripping the beds to wash those sheets first.

Jim's compounded this day's dose of antibiotic and finds the kid doesn't want anything to do with it. So Mom shows up, and gets compliance immediately. Yes, he'll do it for me. I don't say please after he says no - I ask with please and insist instead.

Kid got some syrup on himself - I suggest they both get a shower together. Turns out to be instant hit. I've already laid clothes out for Xander for wear for the day, so Jim has no problem getting him dressed. (This is also one of the routines we mess up at our own risk - give that stuff before getting dressed or you risk a complete change of clothes if he decides it's too nasty to take. This stuff is FOUL.)

Get a blanket and two changes of clothes together for daycare and help Jim pack the car so he can take him (me, I've got to go straight to work - it's 7:00 and I'm due at 8:00) to daycare.

I sure hope he has a better day, and maybe even go see that Trek movie - he'll have the time after the car is taken care of.

Sympathy? Sure. Pity? No. Castigation? Why. Pointless. Reassurance? Shoot, you get anything you need, you don't need me to tell you everything is okay, do I?

Life takes care of the consequences, believe me. I won't add to them.

Mistakes are only bad when you don't learn from them - and me being a nag isn't useful. But I'm not going to feel sorry for you if that's what it takes to prove anything.

You have to work to be kind. Life is not gentle, and while I can be - it's not a default setting.

Comments

[lesliepear.livejournal.com]

It does sound like you've got a routine down and I'm impressed. We are no where as near as organized with Alan and he's 6 1/2.

FYI - You may want to have the car seat replaced. There are recommendations on car seats and accidents.

[drlaurac.livejournal.com]

Good suggestion, and right on! Some car seat manufacturers will actually grant you a free replacement if they get the old seat back for research along with photos of the car and a description of the accident.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

You did good, mommy lady.