Oh, FL - you never fail me.

[kyburg]

truepenny pointed me at this - so grateful. So very, very grateful.

There is an angel of the LORD in my shower, thou imploreth, and he keeps saying he’s supposed to knock me up, and I’m only twenty-three, I can’t raise a kid right now—

THOU CANST USE DAYCARE, the angel boometh.

—and I thought you were against single-parent families, thou finishest.

DO YOU NOT TRUST IN THE POWER OF THE LORD TO BRING YOU A HUSBAND?

That’s not the point, thou repliest, shrinking down unto Missus Van Metre’s carpet. It is not thy job to tell an angel of the LORD that thou likest not the boys.

Go and come back. Dying here.

Comments

[dame-of-dames.livejournal.com]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[batshua]

That was about six kinds of awesome. I'm sending this link to pretty much anyone I can think of.

[sirena73]

"The angel of the LORD is rather like a cop."

BRB, dying of laughter

[relevantpink.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this, thanks for linking!

[lostboydv.livejournal.com]

That was a good story! It was sorely in need of some quotation marks, though; but then, so is the Bible, which is almost certainly the point of that stylistic choice.