So much for that.

[kyburg]

Due to illness and bank fuckmuppetry, I canceled Thanksgiving.

Some friends didn't like that - and wanted to make it right. Then got sick themselves, and couldn't come over. To be honest, I'd gotten past numb by then.

They say that the first year you have a new child in the home, you should keep your holidays small and quiet - well, that's what we got, regardless of the weird that is in my experience.

I managed to play with my Sims without crashing the game. I actually could play for more than one hour.

Every time I tried to do something with the kid, I got a temper tantrum and demands for Daddy.

Friday, I went to work. That afternoon, the boys took me out to the Columbia Memorial Space Museum in Downey and geeked out.

Saturday, I went to Hemet for a make-up visit. Where I was ordered to shut down my laptop and then grilled on What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Dear - while I'm looking at two of the sickest old women and completely unable to do a thing to make them stop puttering and cleaning and futzing around the entire time I was there.

And kid still wants nothing to do with me. I refrain - because a meltdown would be just the icing on the Danish Mafia cake. (Kid does nap successfully, and Mom gets to see the cute that is my kid asleep. Seriously. Someone could make bank on the angelic - just add wings and halo.)

Kid got a metric ton of fun things to play with - one of which was something made out of the higher order of Lego (my 15 year old grand-nephew did it) that kid happily took apart and then fussed over because it was broken on the drive home. He's also lost some of the pieces. We're not impressed.

OH - and Mom called me on the way out inquiring about my sanity advising me that it was raining and did I want to go home instead? We saw plenty of evidence of water falling from the sky, but the weather did not impact the drive - at all. "Mom, this is the one day I've got." And seriously - it was. It won't be until Christmas when I'll get another chance, and even then it'll be at Sis' house.

What about me. Well, what?

I got to wake up slowly on Sunday - enough time to hear kid give Jim what for over breakfast, get sent to his room and basically be informed that wow, Daddy is just as much of a hardass as Mom, who knew?

And when I got up, I had a nice, well-manned child who ate everything put in front of him, got dressed without complaint, but was a bit less than compliant sitting quietly in church. (Oh well.) Kid has discovered profanity (right now, the high water mark is 'poopy-butt') and is testing the waters with great glee.

But in those few moments upon waking, I found myself very angry with him. And then slapped myself with some perspective. This is a four year old. We had a very good day with just the two of us, even though he slept from 1 to 4 PM (and that kills my day, Jim gets home at 5 and the nightly routines kick in). It also showed how really fatigued I still am when all I have to do is put him down, put me down with a book and I never get to the book.

I can understand parental preference at this age. I can even understand the developmental stage at age four of being a total prick. What I really need to figure out is how to disconnect that from feeling like a total waste of space while it's going on. No, really. When I don't post, you can assume that I'm too angry to be fit for human consumption. And hurt feelings on top of that is a sure bet I won't be saying much. My crap, my problem.

Get sick, get tired, and it's a losing battle. Add family bank on that, and I'd really like to run away from home.

There's still a ton of alcohol in the house - if I needed reassurance this is not an issue for me, there it is still on the shelves. Doesn't mean I'm not buying a few more things (and the Nouveau Beaujolais is out, YUM), but there they sit.

Christmas is a holiday. It's also a deadline. Try to get in all the things that are supposed to be FUN - and cram away while you're at it - and by the way, this is supposed to be fun!

I did say something about horns and tails this time of year.

Need to firm up the coverage for the two weeks of the holiday. Will get a professional cleaning service in (including carpets) between now and Christmas, because dammit I deserve a clean house once a year. And get the piano tuned.

My credit union did something smart, in my opinion. They've given everyone in good standing a $2,000 loan for the holidays, payable by direct draw from your account beginning 30 days after you opened it. Payable back over the next year. Yes, I took them up on it. See, the whole thing about the bank? I could be reasonably certain it was a temporary situation - except for the language they used, and the lack of fraud talking to the branch to assist in cleanup - and the tax return next year is going to be huge, simply because we completed the adoption this year. We get kid deduction, all the stuff associated with having one...and all of the adoption expenses associated? Right off the top.

So paying a $2,000 loan back isn't going to be an issue, in February or so.

I can get my hair cut this weekend when the salon does their Toys for Tots drive, if I bring in a toy. I can count how many haircuts I've gotten this year on one hand, with fingers left over. It's expensive. This one time, I can do it for the cost of a board game.

I'll get by. When January rolls around, it will be what it'll be.

But I've got the boy's presents on their way - and they are what I wanted to get them - and I'm still on my feet. Pretty battered, and I'd like some really good Christmas partying this year, but I'll take what I can get.

Kid is really getting into the swing of things - this is one thing I think he's had some experience with prior (anyone care to tell me what Christmas in like in Taiwan?), and the strange is actually being welcomed. This morning, the Christmas CD we found at Target HAD to be in the player (Mickey Mouse for 2009) and we've discovered Jingle Bells really DOES suck.

I really miss my holiday. And I missed out on anything for my birthday as well. *kicks can*

Comments

[peachtales.livejournal.com]

My niece is now 11.5, and while I am not a parent I do remember that time frame you describe as being difficult. So without trying to sound trite, I think you are holding up pretty well in that department.
The line about dad being just as much of a hardass made me giggle.
Bank stuff sounds like it's getting better for you. I am happy to hear that.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

Our first kid arrived less than two weeks before Thanksgiving. He came with his very own virus from Korea, to which we of course had no immunity. Within days, we both were sicker than either of us has ever been before or since with a "simple" upper respiratory infection. Brand-new parents, no close friends who were parents, no family in town, ghastly sick, learning to parent a 6-month-old who slept for a MAXIMUM of 4 hours at a time.

Thanksgiving dinner was turkey TV dinners from the corner convenience store.

It got better.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

I come to this after being widowed at the end of a five year terminal illness on the part of late husband (Cliff passed in 1998). I remember living on spaghetti-o's from the liquor store across the street.

My mother was being so helpful reminding me of how many crises I've weathered in the past - what was my problem NAOW?

What makes people think this is something I LIKE?

(And when we got back with Xander in March, and needed help trying to get him to sleep? I had people telling me to take this terrified little kid into an ER. Yeah. Helpful. Not so much. The endo finally gave me a dosage on Benadryl, three days in. Best idea in the box.)

I so so relate to the lack of experienced support system. Right now, Xander's the youngest in the whole family by an order of ten years at least. And boy, do I feel it. I don't have grandmothers who can come over and spell us. I don't have siblings with small children for him to play with. *grump*

Better is good. Now, if I could only stop remembering and getting angry all over again.

[amaryllis.livejournal.com]

i hear you on all the family insanity. i'd share my own horror stories of my in-laws visiting (they arrived last tuesday and leave tomorrow), but i'm still too traumatized to re-live it, especially since it's not quite over. it should say something that i am relieved to have to work today.

the kid thing, too. my eldest is 6 and has turned the page; he and i are good buddies and he is a dear, but my used-to-be mama's boy at age 4 needs daddy for EVERYTHING. (when i pick him up from daycare, he tells me to go back to work and he'll wait for daddy.)

[malibrarian.livejournal.com]

I can so relate to this, the sickness, the not noticing one parent (although it was Kip who got that the most, not me, so I had no relief sometimes.) And the endless illness. Now the kid is 7 and we're not so ill anymore (although the swine flu did gallop through the house last month.) and things are slowly calming down. While your mileage may vary, things will improve and yes, getting that tax refund was like Christmas all over again! Hope you're healthy for Christmas!

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

You and me both!

[murphymom.livejournal.com]

The first 18 months of the BoyKid's life, he had his dad convinced that his name for dad was "Not-the-Mama". Things change.

[poetpaladin.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm glad you're posting all this. One day you will look back at it all and grin wryly. :)