Just to get caught up -
Jan. 20th, 2011 09:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgLife is keeping me away from here, guys. Just saying. Work is busier, schedule is busier, no more hours in the day and sleeping gets more priority than eating. Just so you know.
We're two years in, nearly, with this adoption - and it's time to say it. I have a very well attached child who doesn't hate me anymore. As long as I respect the invisible boundaries, he's also a game duck. The boundaries?
We don't go very far. You don't see it, trust me - nobody does - he's very comfortable with a lot of people these days. When he's in a comfy spot, people-wise, he's a loose cannon. LOUD, energetic, bouncing off the walls, what's this - five year old boy. Just - don't go far. Do that, and the missing parent is plainted for. Until they return.
Oh dear ghaaaads, so effing STRAIGHT boy, my friends. Yes, you can tell this young. I am glad I bought the anatomically correct books - and decided early that talking about teh sexx0rs was not going to be verboten.
Because, let's face it. At this age? Bodily functions are FUNNY. And body parts are just that, nothing more. (Can you tell I'm finding this a whole lot of fun?)
He still thinks Mommy should have a penis. They're cool. That's okay, hon. I have a vagina, and that's okay. (Why yes, I have the age-appropriate book to explain that.) To him, it's just boring.
I have a kid who wants me to sit and watch television with him in the morning. This was not the case at the beginning. I may have held him as much as possible, but you can tell the difference between the necessary and the preferred. The sprawling and snuggling is a dead giveaway.
I'd estimate we're at where most people begin with their kids. Two years in.
Of course, we're also having all the 'fun' one has with this age. Yesterday? I got to hear chapter and verse about how his BFF punched him in the lip, so he pulled his hair. Yeah, kid came home with a small injury that didn't need any further attention - but I sure heard about the fight. And you discuss the 'kid, you don't DO that' and ask what school did, and where's the report (yup, right down the line, but no names mentioned). I'm not sure what happened first, but there are some real ringleaders in class right now.
And you wonder why there's no martial arts below the age of reason. Right, moving on.
I'm glad to be backing away from using physical reinforcements - I may have to grab a hand once in a while, or direct him towards a target, but there's very little else. I can use penalties like no television or games, and it's effective. It's very clear this is a kid who was spanked - that was the 'oh, you're SERIOUS about that, okay' moment. The tantruming is leaving. Yup, about six months ahead, my five year old is getting more six years old every day.
Still adding foods to the list of things, but now the list is getting comprehensive enough that I can list by omission instead by inclusion.
Hot dogs are now a staple item.
He can also be put to bed awake, and settle himself to sleep. This is one of the places he still pushes hard for attention, and the place where he can lose more privileges than anywhere else, but. He's fine, put to bed.
I can now think ahead to when a second child enters the picture. That's still at least a year away.
But he likes the idea, and I'm certain he is going to make a fantastic BENCH of a big brother.
We're two years in, nearly, with this adoption - and it's time to say it. I have a very well attached child who doesn't hate me anymore. As long as I respect the invisible boundaries, he's also a game duck. The boundaries?
We don't go very far. You don't see it, trust me - nobody does - he's very comfortable with a lot of people these days. When he's in a comfy spot, people-wise, he's a loose cannon. LOUD, energetic, bouncing off the walls, what's this - five year old boy. Just - don't go far. Do that, and the missing parent is plainted for. Until they return.
Oh dear ghaaaads, so effing STRAIGHT boy, my friends. Yes, you can tell this young. I am glad I bought the anatomically correct books - and decided early that talking about teh sexx0rs was not going to be verboten.
Because, let's face it. At this age? Bodily functions are FUNNY. And body parts are just that, nothing more. (Can you tell I'm finding this a whole lot of fun?)
He still thinks Mommy should have a penis. They're cool. That's okay, hon. I have a vagina, and that's okay. (Why yes, I have the age-appropriate book to explain that.) To him, it's just boring.
I have a kid who wants me to sit and watch television with him in the morning. This was not the case at the beginning. I may have held him as much as possible, but you can tell the difference between the necessary and the preferred. The sprawling and snuggling is a dead giveaway.
I'd estimate we're at where most people begin with their kids. Two years in.
Of course, we're also having all the 'fun' one has with this age. Yesterday? I got to hear chapter and verse about how his BFF punched him in the lip, so he pulled his hair. Yeah, kid came home with a small injury that didn't need any further attention - but I sure heard about the fight. And you discuss the 'kid, you don't DO that' and ask what school did, and where's the report (yup, right down the line, but no names mentioned). I'm not sure what happened first, but there are some real ringleaders in class right now.
And you wonder why there's no martial arts below the age of reason. Right, moving on.
I'm glad to be backing away from using physical reinforcements - I may have to grab a hand once in a while, or direct him towards a target, but there's very little else. I can use penalties like no television or games, and it's effective. It's very clear this is a kid who was spanked - that was the 'oh, you're SERIOUS about that, okay' moment. The tantruming is leaving. Yup, about six months ahead, my five year old is getting more six years old every day.
Still adding foods to the list of things, but now the list is getting comprehensive enough that I can list by omission instead by inclusion.
Hot dogs are now a staple item.
He can also be put to bed awake, and settle himself to sleep. This is one of the places he still pushes hard for attention, and the place where he can lose more privileges than anywhere else, but. He's fine, put to bed.
I can now think ahead to when a second child enters the picture. That's still at least a year away.
But he likes the idea, and I'm certain he is going to make a fantastic BENCH of a big brother.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-01-20 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-20 06:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-20 07:17 pm (UTC)THAT cracked me up! This is why I've loved every little boy I've ever been lucky to teach.
I love our little peanut to death, but the only reason I'd ever try for a second child is that I'd love to have a little boy too.
Oh, and the "don't go too far away, I get scared!" thing is probably not just adoption issues. I remember getting "lost" in the park with my brother when I was around that age, and my brother was only a year older than me. We totally freaked the heck out. Mom was only a few yards away, and we found her in less than 5 minutes, but back then it felt like an eternity!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-20 07:57 pm (UTC)I'm glad you're aware of where he is and what he needs. So many attachment-related issues are so subtle that I'm afraid it's easy for parents to lose sight of them. I'm sure part of the reason he's doing so well is because of that.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-20 09:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-20 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-24 08:27 pm (UTC)Strength? YARRRRR!