Okay, one more time with feeling...on second thought, skip the feeling. BOHICA!

[kyburg]

Some tweets I did yesterday....

In other news, Sis just called me and told me she's quit. First time I've heard from her since Christmas and it's to tell me she's done.

I wish I could make this shit up. She doesn't want any more phone calls. And definitely nothing about Mom. For six months. Ooookay.

(She hasn't returned a phone call in over four months, mind.) Okay. Good thing I'm going out to Mom's house this weekend, neh?

And like, I was already doing it, okay? She might have known if she - idk - RETURNED PHONE CALLS. #notbitter

*blows air* My idea of being busy - and the rest of the world's? Totally different thing entirely. #addsaplatetotheonesalreadyspinning

The fun part is one brother isn't used to calling me, and the other one hasn't spoken to me in nearly ten years. #fun

You know, it's bad enough to have toxic parents (the one I had, at least did me the favor of dying instead of living as a violent drug addict during ALL of my childhood instead of just the early years before age 7), but I had to end up with a sister who must be the center of attention, must direct traffic to her liking, must control the dialogs...until she's simply fed up with people in general and won't even return phone calls. On things she wanted from you. Insisted on. I'd be gobsmacked except she's done this all our lives. It's just bend over, here it comes again -

Except now, it's over Mom - and her care, which she has been very clear is Not To Be Fucked With. Except it's okay if she does it.

I...really haven't been kept in the loop on what's going on, day to day out there - between lil' bro and Sis, there wasn't any call or need for me (and I'm an idiot, no ask anyone).

Lil' bro called me a few weeks ago asking for some help putting dinners in the freezer for Mom, I did some research and came quickly to the conclusion the best plan was for me to just come out - so, I just went ahead and made those plans because...lil' bro asked me to just handle it. Well, sure! Not research? Not contract? You really want me to...I dunno, DO SOMETHING?

Sure. Jeez. Easy-peasy. Just dedicate a day and get it done.

Did I call Sis? She hasn't returned a call in four months. No.

So she calls me yesterday to quit. And it's all everything else - not her. Gosh, wish I could blame my funk on everyone else and stop taking phone calls. "You three are all secondary on Mom's POA - you're going to handle things. Don't call me."

Gods, I could snark. I've been telling her to redirect some of the work to me. I've been setting aside time for her to discuss Mom's care, I've written lists...made suggestions, researched options...none of it good enough, of course but you have to make the effort....

Every time, I think it's going to be different.

Just trying to find a place for it - again. I really don't know what I'm going to find when I get there, but the goal this Saturday is to 1) get meal planning into reality and 2) back it up with resources. Like, dinners in the freezer for 30 days and menus supporting them.

I know how to do this. Why...*throws up hands* *blows air*

Going to Hemet Saturday. Early. As soon as I know more, I'm sure I'll feel better about it - but I have to feel for Mom at this point. Just too much work, too bad so sad.

As I was telling Rey today - there are some things I just won't do, because she does them. One of them is that I always answer the phone. I USE THE GODDAMN PHONE, OKAY? (Make me crazy angry? Don't return calls. Promise.)

You ever wonder why I won't consider a career of any stripe in social work. Sis has that profession - I don't want *anything* near it unless she leaves it first.

I want to stick a banana in her tailpipe. SO BAD. (Anything else ain't worth the jail time.)

Comments

[murphymom]

Meals On Wheels can be a lifesaver here, in so many ways. Not only will they bring food AND provide daily contact (during the week. not weekends, or so it was when Nana was receiving services) but they will monitor and alert you/your designee if/when there seems to be an alteration in mental/physical status. Check it out -

[moropus]

Matt's dad is toxic and so was mine. I understand. Meals on Wheels is awesome.

All of us have scars from the toxic parent thing. I have siblings just like yours. I do understand.

[n6vfp.livejournal.com]

I feel for you... my sister quit back in 2005 and I took it all on, I've been the whole circuit so if you need help. let me know.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

I'll be there all day - want to drop by?