kyburg | Lemmings R US

- Abortion?: Not a simple situation, not a simple answer. I grew up in a hospital, literally. Before Roe v. Wade and after. Sis and I had first hand knowledge of what would happen to us - the decisions we would have to make - if we took risks with our sexuality. So far, whether to or not hasn't come up as a result. So I apply that to the issue. You do a good job of preventing the need for abortions, you do a good job of ending abortion as an issue. Anything else is ego-boo and useless. Making it illegal doesn't make it any more "wrong" or unlikely to be needed. Past that, only the person who is persuing one can decide - this is a medical procedure, end subject. I also don't believe anyone gets pregnant with the express intent of having an abortion - that colors my opinion rather strongly.

- Death Penalty?: I didn't give the state permission to commit wholesale murder in my name. This is not something I can opt out of. Therefore, I'm not in favor of it. I also believe there are worse things than dying - and anyone who takes a life should live the rest of theirs in ways that make them envy their victim(s). Lethal injection is just too fast and painless. Sorry.

- Prostitution?: Legal and on the up and up the safest for all concerned. No law ever written put an end to it.

- Alcohol?: Mmmm. Tasty. But I like what I recently saw in an anime (good grief, what a twerp) - consume alcohol, but don't be consumed by it.

- Marijuana?: Allergic as hell to it. Past that, I've seen two things in people who use it on a regular basis - unmotivated and fat. Plus the issues that come with using something not FDA sanctioned. I understand it does good things for pain managment - and if under a doctor's care, I see no difference in its use over any other kind of therapy. Random substance with both good and bad qualities.

- Other drugs?: Know your substance - but remember that any drug use is a controlled poisoning. You sure you wanna do that to yourself unnecessarily? I don't.

- Gay marriage?: We've reduced the resources for folks in every walk of life to the point that we now have to go back and cobble together what's left into something that works - marriage is one of those institutions that's still well-supported, fosters stable homelives and remains a desireable legal status. If you are not biologically wired to accept a partner of a different gender, all these doors are shut to you. Forget that marriage is the one public, legally recognized gesture we make of our decision to love, honor and commit on a permanent basis for life we do. We don't even do this for our children when we give birth to them. I have no trouble with two people who want to simplify their lives and stick it out together. Whether it is wrong or not - whether it is a religious act or not - not my call. Marriage isn't easy - there are a lot of arguments for staying single if you don't want a little fillip of work at the end of each day. The rewards are so worth it - but you can never really call your life your own again.

- Illegal immigrants?: You don't like the idea, go give the INS enough money to do their job. Not enough money to give more to INS? Pity. Stop hiring day laborers on the sly, or any labor-providing agency that can't show you valid I-9 forms and worker's comp insurance. YOU can't afford to do that? Don't bitch about illegal immigrants, bub. You cheapass.

- Smoking?: ACHOO. See Marijuana. This is one of the worst things you can do to yourself, slowly. Nastily. The first thing I ask for every Christmas is if you smoke, quit. It's expensive, both in the cost of doing the cigarettes and costly when the health problems they invariably cause begin to crop up. Jim has to take x-rays of folks who smoke - he sees them before they go to surgery to remove parts of their bodies riddled with cancer. He's seen many of his patients die. We hates tobacco. Hates it forever. And cancer is only the first thing on a huge list in teeny print of what cigarettes do to you. It's totally avoidable. Don't do it. You want to smoke around me? No. And I'll give you the biggest puppydog eyes if you decide to smoke anyway. Promise.

- Drunk driving?: We're too lenient with them in this country. Drive drunk and get caught in Switzerland, you've lost your license for life. Kill someone while driving drunk, and you're in jail - for life. No parole. I could easily live with that.

- Cloning?: Depends on the purpose. I don't think we'll get to the place where we could clone entire human beings - really. If we can rebuild organs and such, it might be useful. Stem cell research holds out more useful solutions, frankly.

- Racism?: Dumb, lazy work. Shut your eyes and think. I'm from California - I use your color to help identify you. End subject.

- Premarital sex?: Since I did it before marrying both times, I have to come out in favor of it. It's equal to being able to stand sharing space with a person before locking yourself into a marriage. You should know before you go.

- Religion?: God is God. We create the religions and all the problems that go with them.

- The war in Iraq?: Mistake from day one. Very expensive. Feels like the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Nightmarish. And I have no solutions, which is the worst part.

- Bush?: The sooner he isn't in the news anymore and hidden away on the south forty in Texas, the better I'll like it. He can take all his friends. I won't miss them.

- Downloading music?: You download music using a peer-to-peer client like Napster or Kazaa and I'll smack you myself. If you want to share a cut or two with a friend to give them a taste of something you like, I see no problem with it.

- The legal drinking age?: 21 worked well for me - but I really didn't begin to drink much of anything until in my late 30's. And still don't, to be honest. I like the idea of a maturity test - that makes more sense.

- Porn?: See Prostitution. Narsty is narsty - you take advantage of something small and helpless, you're all done. Stuuuupid.

- Suicide?: Permanent solution to a temporary problem. Permanent solution to a permanent problem, like unremitting pain unto death? Not a simple situation, not a simple answer. Ultimately, in the hands of the life's owner - I'm a firm believer in advance directives and all other documents of their ilk. You want to decide when your life is not worth living - you got it. If you are not terminally ill, or close to it - it's unlikely your life fits into that category. REAL unlikely. See first sentence. Could I keep you from doing it? No. Am I going to be sorry if you do? I'll be sorry you're gone and you'll be very dead. And I'll go on to be sorry about other things as well and that will be the end of it.

Your mileage may vary.