Things that I really don't like -
Jun. 15th, 2007 01:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgIn my family, two of my siblings have had kids. In Jim's, only one - his older brother.
And it's been a train wreck, start to finish.
BIL has children with two women - one he married, and one the courts determined became pregnant while he was unaware. (Long story.)
He divorced the one he married, and despises her.
He refused to acknowledge the children from the other woman (she had twins) until one of them developed cancer and he was contacted for bone marrow transplant reasons. By then, he had alienated the children born in wedlock - not hard to do when you despise their mother and you have to deal with custody issues, and you're a pompous asshole. (He is. He lost his LA privileges early on.)
He's married to a woman now with no kids of her own - and a fairly clear desire for a childfree life. From day one.
We begin to talk about having kids of our own, somehow the conversation always goes to BIL's children - the fact we just had a family reunion doesn't help.
And we have to explain. And explain. And explain. And explain. And explain.
There just is no graceful way to do it.
Jim adores these kids, and is quick to tell anyone who wants to listen all about them - but then we have to explain. And explain. And explain.
And there's just no way to do it without being somewhat feeling dirty afterward. Gods save me from anything related to divorces.
And it's been a train wreck, start to finish.
BIL has children with two women - one he married, and one the courts determined became pregnant while he was unaware. (Long story.)
He divorced the one he married, and despises her.
He refused to acknowledge the children from the other woman (she had twins) until one of them developed cancer and he was contacted for bone marrow transplant reasons. By then, he had alienated the children born in wedlock - not hard to do when you despise their mother and you have to deal with custody issues, and you're a pompous asshole. (He is. He lost his LA privileges early on.)
He's married to a woman now with no kids of her own - and a fairly clear desire for a childfree life. From day one.
We begin to talk about having kids of our own, somehow the conversation always goes to BIL's children - the fact we just had a family reunion doesn't help.
And we have to explain. And explain. And explain. And explain. And explain.
There just is no graceful way to do it.
Jim adores these kids, and is quick to tell anyone who wants to listen all about them - but then we have to explain. And explain. And explain.
And there's just no way to do it without being somewhat feeling dirty afterward. Gods save me from anything related to divorces.
