Nasty Gram
Dec. 14th, 2006 09:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgWell, I just got a letter in the mail yesterday from the adoption agency.
Seems the China program is making changes.
Highlights?
You must be between 30 and 50.
If you are in your second marriage, you must have been married for five years. If you've been married more than four times, you're out.
BMI index under 30
Net worth over $80,000.
I may need to revise my health records - my weight back in June was damn close to that BMI index ceiling. Now - pffft. Jim's safe - but dayim if that wouldn't knock out most if not all of the people I was in orientation with.
I think we meet the net worth thingie - I need to check. Most of it is equity in the house, of course.
And the wait from dossier submission is now up to two years.
*clears throat*
I'm 46. We're talking parenthood just shy of 50. For the first one. And I don't believe only children are optimal.
So - I just got off the phone with the agency.
If they'll allow it, we're going to start the second one from Taiwan after the first of the year - and Jim could have his boy by the end of the year, or near to.
I have relatives who lived into their nineties - vibrant, active nineties - 50 is not on the way down yet. And I have every reason to believe I'm going to be one of them - short of a catastrophic illness or an accident. Jim's grandfather is still alive, in his late nineties (Jim's almost 43 himself.)
Talk to me about TTC. G'ahead. I'm beginning to think spending the time and effort in that wouldn't be wasted - look at how much time and effort I've put into adopting, for crying out loud!
The worst part? That little voice that keeps saying "Get ready. It ain't gonna happen. You get to watch everyone around you have families of their own - but you won't get to. Not for you. All gone. Not enough for you. Too bad. Sorry. What a shame."
And I don't know anyone who's ever tried to have kids and failed, and then failed trying to adopt as well. Me? I could give it a go - there's still time for me to do it myself, if I want to spend the time and effort.
I swear. Whatever anyone else takes for granted, I have to finage, wrangle and beg for. WAIT for.
And then, when it's my turn? Sorry. Fresh out. None for you.
They just keep moving the friggin' bar.
I just want to be someone's Mom, instead of it being some kind of joke. (Everyone calls me "Mom" - the chief of security here at work calls me Mom - all 6' and 275 lbs of him.)
Some. Kind. Of . Joke.
We couldn't have started any earlier. We wouldn't have made the marriage length test. (Just had our fifth anniversary in November.)
*sigh*
Me and my self-esteem are going to have a little pity party in the corner here, kthxbye.
Seems the China program is making changes.
Highlights?
You must be between 30 and 50.
If you are in your second marriage, you must have been married for five years. If you've been married more than four times, you're out.
BMI index under 30
Net worth over $80,000.
I may need to revise my health records - my weight back in June was damn close to that BMI index ceiling. Now - pffft. Jim's safe - but dayim if that wouldn't knock out most if not all of the people I was in orientation with.
I think we meet the net worth thingie - I need to check. Most of it is equity in the house, of course.
And the wait from dossier submission is now up to two years.
*clears throat*
I'm 46. We're talking parenthood just shy of 50. For the first one. And I don't believe only children are optimal.
So - I just got off the phone with the agency.
If they'll allow it, we're going to start the second one from Taiwan after the first of the year - and Jim could have his boy by the end of the year, or near to.
I have relatives who lived into their nineties - vibrant, active nineties - 50 is not on the way down yet. And I have every reason to believe I'm going to be one of them - short of a catastrophic illness or an accident. Jim's grandfather is still alive, in his late nineties (Jim's almost 43 himself.)
Talk to me about TTC. G'ahead. I'm beginning to think spending the time and effort in that wouldn't be wasted - look at how much time and effort I've put into adopting, for crying out loud!
The worst part? That little voice that keeps saying "Get ready. It ain't gonna happen. You get to watch everyone around you have families of their own - but you won't get to. Not for you. All gone. Not enough for you. Too bad. Sorry. What a shame."
And I don't know anyone who's ever tried to have kids and failed, and then failed trying to adopt as well. Me? I could give it a go - there's still time for me to do it myself, if I want to spend the time and effort.
I swear. Whatever anyone else takes for granted, I have to finage, wrangle and beg for. WAIT for.
And then, when it's my turn? Sorry. Fresh out. None for you.
They just keep moving the friggin' bar.
I just want to be someone's Mom, instead of it being some kind of joke. (Everyone calls me "Mom" - the chief of security here at work calls me Mom - all 6' and 275 lbs of him.)
Some. Kind. Of . Joke.
We couldn't have started any earlier. We wouldn't have made the marriage length test. (Just had our fifth anniversary in November.)
*sigh*
Me and my self-esteem are going to have a little pity party in the corner here, kthxbye.
