kyburg | Dumbshit part II

Well, I don't feel stupid anymore.

Was just about ready to go to lunch when a call comes in from Jim.

"Honey, I locked myself out of the house - I have no shoes, no shirt and I only have my wallet. Will you call a locksmith for me please?"

Sure. Do it yourself yellowpages.

I get a hold of Jack. He knows the address. He'll be there in 15 minutes. I try to call back, but the payphone he was at doesn't accept inbound calls. Okay, I know where he is. Yellow pages to the rescue and I'm chatting with the clerk in the mini-market -- "Big blond guy, no shirt, no shoes and likely dancing on the pavement...see him?"

Okay. Stay put, because the best is coming.

I just got the call from Jim telling me he's inside, and okay and $50 poorer.

How did he get locked out? He was playing with the dog. Well, not exactly.

He thought the dog needed a haircut.

He was using his trimmer - with the biggest setting, mind you - on my dog. My Cairn Terror.

"You shishkabobbed the dog?"

Jim also tells me that AAA will reimburse a lockout. I told him he could take care of it.

Oog. Tell me again our brains aren't fried. I dare you.