Way over my head -

[kyburg]

dragonrankmage, reannon, unclejimbo, elfwench, being_homeless - hell, anyone.

bradhicks is in some really deep sauce.

So far out of my league I shouldn't even be touching it - but so familiar, it breaks my heart.

If you've got any suggestions or advice he could use -

*sighs*

Comments

The Ugly Truth

[bitpig.livejournal.com]

I hate to sound unsympathetic, but I know dozens of people just like your friend: classic genius underachievers who can't seem to get their shit together. Every job is sabotaged by assholes; every period of unemployment is Reagan/Bush/Clinton/Bushonomics; every legal hassle is caused by Evil Lawyers of Corrupt Cops; and every personal failing is a byproduct of Scary Mental Syndrome Related To High Intelligence.

The reason I know this story if because I'm the same way. I have suffered through all of the same crap your friend has (with the exception of the physical health stuff — but I have other problems) and been where he is today. I have diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder, grew up poor, got kicked out of college AND the Navy, and could stand to lose a few pounds. Yeah, I've been there.

With God's help, I got better, and now have a wonderful life.

I could offer advice, but I doubt he'd want to hear it. He's what I cal a TIAB — Teenager In Adult Body. He's a guy who is stuck in the late teens-early twenties mode and is incredibly bitter that things aren't as cool as they were back in the Golden Days when he was a legendary Party God, days could be spent playing Robin Hood in the forest, and free money came in the mail. How do I know this? Because his post contains the words "Mundania" and because his "perfect job" is a teenager's dream: a high-paying, "fun" job you can't lose now matter how bad you are at it. Both indicate a refusal to inhabit the real word, a paranoid disassociaton from the mean, scary world of the Mundanes.

I have a news flash for your friend: HE IS A MUNDANE, just like the rest of us. He is not a special being, a mutant, or someone deserving of pity. He is a grown man and needs to act like one. He needs Jesus — the real, Catholic Jesus, with all the no-fun rules and boring liturgy. He needs to be seeing a shrink — a real M.D. with a cabinet full of Happy Pills. And he needs a drill sergeant — a tough, no-bullshit friend who will KICK HIS ASS and FORCE him to live in the Real World instead of patting his widdle hand and telling him that he's special. The goal is Spiritual Health , then Mental Health, then Physical Health — mens sana in corpore sano.

Above all, he needs to stop worshiping himself. A Universe Built For One is a cold and lonely place.

I'm sorry if this sounds cruel, but all I know is that it worked for me. I don't even know the guy — but the advice above works for anybody who is still clinically sane. It may be that your friend is simply mentally incapable of taking care of himself. If so, he should have himself voluntarily committed so that someone will be around to feed him and make sure he's alive every day. There's no shame in being mentally ill. I'm mentally ill myself — just not enough for the booby hatch.

It's not that I don't feel for the guy. I know how nuch it hurts to be in his shoes — I spent years in them myself. Ky, I wish there was a magical Geekland where all of us sensitive types could go to escape the wicked world of paychecks and entropy, but there isn't. Instead, we are all called to heroism — to do the best we can in the world we have, which, in the final analysis, is a wonderful place.

Please excuse me casting my two cents here in your Journal.