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kyburgFirst off, let me put up the standard disclaimer: I am not a therapist with licensure, just another poor slob doing their best everyday - take everything I give you as what it is: my experience, use it as you wish, discard at will. YMMV, and more likely than not - IT SHOULD.
Okay, then. First off, while this is scary, alarming and sad - it’s within normal tolerances. You are an intelligent, thinking creature - you are going to toss this around inside your head and evaluate it, try it out and mull it over. The part I would question is if you think the fact it doesn’t scare you is some kind of achievement or not. Yay! This isn’t scary anymore! Oh, wait.
Oh, wait.
One of the biggest, most difficult cognitive distortions to manage is being able to deny the positives. It’s eaaaaaasy, because in this world nothing is ever going to be perfect. There will always be something less than The Best, and you can trash the greatest time you ever had by focusing on what isn’t the greatest, I watch people do it all the time. Looking for reasons to stay? Keep your eyes on what IS great, lifts you up and inspires you. It could be as small as small, cooling breeze that ruffles your hair - wow, that was nice. So the bus is late. If the weather is clement and you are outside? Wow, notice the leaves on the trees - are there flowers?
Nobody stays forever, regardless. But if you think that leaves need to be raked up, what a pain and now you have to brush your hair again, ack - the good things are going to slip past you and what are you left with? It’s like the gifts you watch other people get and you wonder what happened.
Mindfulness training does wonders for this, BTW. Even a pad of paper with a list of good things you can keep adding to helps. Write it down! Damn, that car had a kicking playlist as it went by! (Instead of OMG, turn that down I can hear it from here!)
You’ll find reasons ‘to stay’ will appear and suddenly you stop thinking about whether or not you got one for right now.
Remember, it’s just this moment. That’s all any of us get, and then another one and another like beads on a string, not looking at whether it’s cultured pearls or plastic. It’ll come - but in the meantime, consciously refrain from weighing ‘well is this enough or not?’ It is - and go with that.
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Okay, then. First off, while this is scary, alarming and sad - it’s within normal tolerances. You are an intelligent, thinking creature - you are going to toss this around inside your head and evaluate it, try it out and mull it over. The part I would question is if you think the fact it doesn’t scare you is some kind of achievement or not. Yay! This isn’t scary anymore! Oh, wait.
Oh, wait.
One of the biggest, most difficult cognitive distortions to manage is being able to deny the positives. It’s eaaaaaasy, because in this world nothing is ever going to be perfect. There will always be something less than The Best, and you can trash the greatest time you ever had by focusing on what isn’t the greatest, I watch people do it all the time. Looking for reasons to stay? Keep your eyes on what IS great, lifts you up and inspires you. It could be as small as small, cooling breeze that ruffles your hair - wow, that was nice. So the bus is late. If the weather is clement and you are outside? Wow, notice the leaves on the trees - are there flowers?
Nobody stays forever, regardless. But if you think that leaves need to be raked up, what a pain and now you have to brush your hair again, ack - the good things are going to slip past you and what are you left with? It’s like the gifts you watch other people get and you wonder what happened.
Mindfulness training does wonders for this, BTW. Even a pad of paper with a list of good things you can keep adding to helps. Write it down! Damn, that car had a kicking playlist as it went by! (Instead of OMG, turn that down I can hear it from here!)
You’ll find reasons ‘to stay’ will appear and suddenly you stop thinking about whether or not you got one for right now.
Remember, it’s just this moment. That’s all any of us get, and then another one and another like beads on a string, not looking at whether it’s cultured pearls or plastic. It’ll come - but in the meantime, consciously refrain from weighing ‘well is this enough or not?’ It is - and go with that.
https://ift.tt/eA8V8J
from Tumblr https://ift.tt/2HIhevE
via IFTTT
