Cornflakes down my shirt
Sep. 4th, 2002 03:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgFeels like, really. If I actually had some cornflakes, I'd have lunch.
Yes, I'm still lunchless. Go me.
I've decided I can't make a LJ Tarot Card - I don't know which suit I am. *blows air* The last time I did a bona fide tarot reading it was about six months after Cliff had passed away, and was a reading for the next year.
Everything was pretty cool and reassuring, but the "friends/family/in the future" spot held the Devil, reversed.
And inside of a week or so, life got that strange, with a small subset of friends. No thanks. Not going to name names.
But, it fucked EVERYTHING up. So far, for some people, permanently. Not that everything crashed and burned, but I surely learned the limits of my tolerance for intolerance...and patience. Much patience.
So no, no tarot card. Not for a while. Clueless, I am. VERY.
*sigh* If Jim and I keep spending all the time we have together in the car driving to work, we will kill each other. We'll just snap and suddenly beat each other senseless with Game Boy Advance cartridges and empty Starbucks cups. Mean it.
If all goes well, the house will be on the market September 11th. Somehow, this works for me. Yeah.
I've also asked Jim to tell work to give him some weekend time for us to look at houses. I think he may get it. Heaven knows we'll need it. The idea that I will actually get to pick the next house I live in is both thrilling and scary as hell.
No, I didn't pick the house I'm in now. I've been very good at finding places to live, but no - never got to choose The Place before.
God, don't let me settle for less. Not this time.
And I am so, so, so tired of little whiney little boys. *Counts on fingers.* Three, this week alone. Gah, they actually think I'm going to expend the energy to give a rip. If they don't care enough to help themselves, nothing I do will matter. Ever.
Tired, I am. One hopes they will figure it out.
Yes, I'm still lunchless. Go me.
I've decided I can't make a LJ Tarot Card - I don't know which suit I am. *blows air* The last time I did a bona fide tarot reading it was about six months after Cliff had passed away, and was a reading for the next year.
Everything was pretty cool and reassuring, but the "friends/family/in the future" spot held the Devil, reversed.
And inside of a week or so, life got that strange, with a small subset of friends. No thanks. Not going to name names.
But, it fucked EVERYTHING up. So far, for some people, permanently. Not that everything crashed and burned, but I surely learned the limits of my tolerance for intolerance...and patience. Much patience.
So no, no tarot card. Not for a while. Clueless, I am. VERY.
*sigh* If Jim and I keep spending all the time we have together in the car driving to work, we will kill each other. We'll just snap and suddenly beat each other senseless with Game Boy Advance cartridges and empty Starbucks cups. Mean it.
If all goes well, the house will be on the market September 11th. Somehow, this works for me. Yeah.
I've also asked Jim to tell work to give him some weekend time for us to look at houses. I think he may get it. Heaven knows we'll need it. The idea that I will actually get to pick the next house I live in is both thrilling and scary as hell.
No, I didn't pick the house I'm in now. I've been very good at finding places to live, but no - never got to choose The Place before.
God, don't let me settle for less. Not this time.
And I am so, so, so tired of little whiney little boys. *Counts on fingers.* Three, this week alone. Gah, they actually think I'm going to expend the energy to give a rip. If they don't care enough to help themselves, nothing I do will matter. Ever.
Tired, I am. One hopes they will figure it out.
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Re: question
Date: 2002-09-10 03:29 pm (UTC)And it's not the lack that bothered me so much as the lack of follow through. And truly, who stands to lose the most? Not me.
I talk all day, and the fraction prefaced with "I think" is just that - more noise and hot air. But if you say "I'm going to -," and you don't....isn't that different?
In the end, I am reminded that I can't pass along what I've learned the hard way by warning people off it. Much as I say "watch out for that tree!," they seem hell bent on smacking it dead on. Good thing I can enjoy gallows humor. Some days, it just gets old. A bad day - no, it just got piled very high that day. How many times do you need to get cutoff in traffic before you begin to wonder if everyone out there is out to get you?
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-10 03:52 pm (UTC)--Commentor
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-10 03:56 pm (UTC)On a more serious note, there's a difference between investing emotionally in something, and simple caring. In the first case, the outcome matters in a very personal way. If they don't do what you want, it's taken as a personal affront and obsessed over and "whined" about. In the second case, you deliver the boot because you care, but you don't attach conditions on how they take that boot.
As for benefit, I do not personally operate for the sake of benefit or rewards, so I don't quite understand that question.
--Commentor