You live and learn -

[kyburg]

Another thing about adoption.

The agencies don't play well with each other. Actually, not at all.

I had to let it slip to DCFS that we were actually looking to adopt internationally.

That, is a Big Bad No No. If we go forward with Heartsent (duh), we need to let them know and that lovely letter that took us two years to get? Gets filed in the circular one.

And that kid from last night? We can show interest, but there's no guarantee of a match - and no more information if or when a match is offered to us.

It's going to be a Talk tonight with Jim, but I think it's pretty clear.

DCFS is leaving the building. I think.

Comments

[technoshaman.livejournal.com]

So let me get this straight. DCFS has NOTHING to do with international adoptions?

ARGH!

[turandot.livejournal.com]

DCFS rules vary from state to state but... Insofar as I know, DCFS is basically one of your local social services staples that is supposed to look out for children, whether by investigating reports of abuse and verifying they were a false alarm, or stepping in to ensure the safety of a child if those reports are substantiated by their investigations. When the latter happens, DCFS has a range of remedies it can apply to the problem, ranging from awarding temporary custody to other family members to removing a child from his/her environment and placing them in foster care or up for adoption (depending on whether and for how long parental rights can be severed). In the latter capacity, it tries to place children in homes, whether as foster children or potential adoptees, as locally as it can, so that the child/children in question can more easily adapt to their new circumstances. So yeah, DCFS is unlikely to handle any cases involving international adoptions (Donna, please correct me on any of this if I'm wrong).

Anyway, this is probably one of those deals where DCFS might see attempts to adopt internationally as a red flag that a couple is basically too pushy/desperate for a child that it cannot wait to get one. That might be true in some cases, but not always. Problem is, DCFS caseworkers either look for the worst possible motives by nature, or are so reduced by years of exposure to all sorts of human tragedy. Le sigh.

[riverheart.livejournal.com]

Can't say I disagree with you there at all.

[lolleeroberts.livejournal.com]

You know, there are always PSAs running on TV here trying to talk people into becoming foster parents. Heartfelt pleas with photos of appealing children looking wistful. They're even targeting singles to become foster parents now. Considering the struggles you've endured over the last 2 years, and the hoops you've jumped through for these people, I no longer wonder why they can't find enough foster parents. I'm amazed they can find any at all.

[poetpaladin.livejournal.com]

Totally. They are fucking up things.

[the-boyfriend.livejournal.com]

Seriously Donna,

You should take your entries and write a book about this.

The adoption beauracracy should be exposed.

[bigbigtruck.livejournal.com]

I mentioned this to Brett this morning and he said it would be kickin' rad if you & Jim could compile your adoption/foster-related entries in print somehow. I can't believe the crazy shit you guys have been put through JUST TRYING TO GIVE A HOME TO SOMEONE WHO NEEDS IT SLDKJFALADLKJ;KJ;

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

You know, years down the road? When it doesn't matter what I think or say about the process (because they can't touch us over it)? Maybe.

Right now? I can't find anyone who's had a similar experience who has written a word about it. I can understand why - I never gave much credence to the whole "shame" issue, but it's bitchsmacking my ass right now. We're as boring as they come - really. I read LJ every day. I know this.

NOW. Why is everyone so convinced there's something weird going on?

[turandot.livejournal.com]

As you guessed, I think that people who get dropped as foster parents from DCFS probably stay quiet because they don't want it to be known why they were dropped. You're not gonna run into them save maybe if you put an ad in local papers asking them to come forward to share their experiences. And even that's a maybe.

Honestly, I'm hoping your DCFS caseworkers decide to just play nice and stick to the basics, no personal commentary. After all, all that would do is burn bridges, and you never know, you might still be willing to be a foster parent later on.