For posterity -

[kyburg]

I had my annual review at work today - went well, actually. But I was asked to check with HR on the leave policies because I did insist on talking about my being gone for multiple weeks next year for the adoption. So here, for posterity -



I've been asked to get something definitive for {BOSSMAN} with regards to what kind of leave/vacation/absence should be expected when I complete the international adoption I am anticipating from China next year.

With any kind of luck, it will be a year from now, plus a month of two. The waits lately have been 16 months from dossier acceptance, and ours was likely accepted in late February - as soon as I have the DAD, I'll let you know. Once a placement has been made, I will have 30 days to get my visa and get to China to pick up my daughter.

Last time I did any research, I was told I was entitled to six weeks of unpaid leave under the Family Leave Act. I was also told that I can only acrue 1 and 1/2 times my yearly vacation time. (With that being three weeks a year, I think I top out at five weeks.)

There are no long or short term disability benefits available because there is no pregnancy or medical reason for the leave. Also, no unemployment benefits as well - I'm simply out on leave.

Can you confirm these things?

Currently, I expect I will need at least four weeks in country at the time of adoption, and then plan to take as much time at home as possible once we return. Both of us plan to return to work full time after our leaves are exhausted.

Can you give me a firm estimate of just how much time I can take away, within the legal and legitimate parameters set by the company?

It's some time away, but I'm not going to leave my department unprepared. There is a lot I can do from home, if necessary (yes, I could telecommute between diaper changes, conceptually), but there are weeks where I will be completely unreachable for any reason - at least, I *think* that will be the case, today.

Thanks in advance! (Has anyone ever dealt with the Dave Thomas Adoption Support website at http://www.adoptionfriendlyworkplace.org? Curious, only.)

So, there. I've said it. I'd have to say, I am trying to be accommodating - when it's a pregnancy, no way in hell does anyone say a thing until they're four months along or so. At least, nobody recommends it. Seriously.

This is a year and a half away. At best.

I've never had a job where I was thinking in terms of years. Months, sure. But I was never anywhere I could expect to be in five years...let alone five months.

I think I like it.

Comments

[reannon.livejournal.com]

a) If I remember correctly from wrangling with my newspaper when I had the Kiddo, the Family Medical Leave Act guarantees you TWELVE weeks' unpaid leave. I only took six weeks because it was all I could afford to take without salary. Look it up with your state department of labor, don't depend on HR to get it right. They'll nodnod and say, "Oh yes, six weeks, that's it." Unless they've altered the law, unfortunately, they can also take your vacation time concurrently, but then you'd get vacation pay for part of it.

b) Also, while traditionally you don't talk about being pregnant for the first trimester, in this modern world you inform your employer and get the ducks in a row as soon as the test comes back. Employers are testy as hell if you've known for three months and didn't tell them they'll need a temp or redistributing your workload next year. But none of that applies in your case, of course.

[reannon.livejournal.com]

Muahahaha. Found it.

http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/

12 weeks, including for adoptions.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

It gets better. I've asked for it in writing, but I just heard back from HR.

In California, you can apply for paid leave of absence. Not full salary, but 55% up to $882 a week. (I was expecting to have to have all that in the bank.)

And yup, it's 12 weeks - and they'd like me to use up my vacation and sick time before going unpaid, which means they'd like me to be gone 12 weeks total and no more. But that's also dependent on my supervisor...it's not a regulation.

Yay me. That was worth the asking.

[reannon.livejournal.com]

Yay! Much better. I wish we'd had paid leave when I had Kiddo - six weeks unpaid after emergency c-section, only nine days paid and I had no vacation all year, which also meant no sick days. I was so glad to say goodbye to that place.

I hope they're flexible on the vacation/sick time - you'll need the occasional day, not just for your own mental health, but for the child. If she picks up pinkeye, for example, you cannot take her to day care and there's no sitter in the world that will take the job. But maybe Jim can save his time.

Good luck! I'm so happy for you. It's nice when it all comes together.

[foogod.livejournal.com]

I can understand their desire to have you use your vacation time, and it does seem like a potentially reasonable request on their part, but personally I would resist very strenuously against using any sick time for this. That's not what sick time is for, and you will likely need to use it later.

If you use all your sick time in addition to all your vacation doing this, then (AFAIK) you won't even have any legal right to take unpaid time if an emergency comes up (which it will), and they could use that against you down the road.

I'm not sure what legal options you have, if any, if they push the issue, but at the very least it needs to be made clear that you do not consider using all your sick time to be a reasonable condition to place on this sort of absence..

Still, it does sound like they at least know what your legal entitlements are, and aren't trying to hide it from you. That's definitely a good sign.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

I think I get five days a year, and that's not transferable year to year - so, no big loss on that account.

It's a good system - the boss is only interested in work getting done. If that gets done between 9 and 4? Groovy. After hours? Okay too. If you have to do it, do it and smile. I go home just about every day at 4:00 PM.

I carry a cell phone specifically for work, and if I'm out of the office more than 48 hours, I carry a laptop in case something goes boom. They're very good about this - if you're willing to come across, they are more than willing to meet you halfway over it. (Frankly, I keep reminding my coworkers to actuall *call* me when something breaks at night.)

That, and I have a view of the ocean from my desk. Sweet? Absolutely. I worked twenty years in the dark before I got here, and am enjoying it to the hilt.

[foogod.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not the loss of the days I was worrying about. The issue here is that I believe (if I remember right) that the employer is required by law to let you take the sick days you have without repercussions of any kind for actually using them. If, however, you use up all of your vacation and all of your sick days, then any time you take off beyond that can potentially count against you and can be used as justification for unfavorable evaluations, or even firing you, down the road.

From what you've said, it doesn't sound like this is the sort of company where it would be a big concern, but it's still not really reasonable for them to put you in a position where you have no legal right to take time off work without repercussions if an emergency comes up, IMHO. (and there are some companies out there where this really could be a big issue)

It does sound like a nice work environment, though.. congratulations on making your way out of the dark :)

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

Do you mind if I point a couple of other people on my flist at this post? They've been in similar situations in the past and may have advice as well.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Not at all - feel free!

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

filkerdave sent me. General tips: stock up on the formula over there so you can transition gradually to yankee formula when you get her here. Take lots of pictures. Room service over there is a bargain -- we ate almost every single meal in-hotel for ten days, and it all came to about $200 for the three of us.

A couple of days before we went, they said there was something called SARS in China. The day before we left, Bush invaded Iraq. When we got back, my employer gave me an extra week off with pay, because they were just ever so slightly worried about SARS. I don't think that works any more, but it was so nice.

It turned out afterwards that our laptop would have worked on their current. All I would have needed was the actual plug itself, which I had, but I thought I needed a converter. In addition, you'll often find an outlet in nice hotel rooms where your American shaver (or whatever) can be plugged in. Not knowing that, we bought more memory chips for the camera and actually had to slow down on picture taking near the end of the trip.

Dunno what else. If you have any questions, ask away and I'll see what I can do.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Try this one on. I have a BIL who works for Nestle. I'll *have* my formula going over, so I had already planned to start transitioning while I was there - and I've also been told the shopping is just plain fabulous there as well, so also planning an empty suitcase, just on general principle. (Also planning to take a port-a-crib - your thoughts?)

SARS - pardon me while I keep laughing. Company has a number of factories in mainland China now - matter of fact, I say "out of touch entirely" with my tongue in cheek because it's very likely I might not be, even in China, as members of the group just went over last year on a fact-finding mission, and ended up going here, there, and there - all places I've been told I'll be going. If I run into trouble while I'm there, it's very possible I'll have company "family" only a phone call away. It's very surreal. SARS was a department joke. Seriously. Anyone with a sniffle got tagged as having SARS - they knew all about it, knew the risks intimately, took the appropriate precautions - and that was all the panic there was about it.

Laptop and appropriate power adaptor - no problem. I work in the IT department. If I think I can juggle it, I could ask for other electronic toys to keep in touch - I know I'll be asked to send pictures.

Which agency did you use? Mine is small, local and built out of adoptive parents with the necessary skills sets (social workers, mostly) - so everyone involved in the process already has direct experience with what I'm doing.

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

We went over with a group, and there was a stroller and crib in the room for our use. I liked the crib, too -- it had tough, tight fiberglass netting sides. If we hadn't already bought a big wooden one, we'd have thought about looking for one like that. This is the crib in the Holiday Inn in Hefei. We didn't care as much for the crib in the China Hotel in Guangzhou, because the slats were widely spaced -- though it had a built-in toy that she used a time or two.

As you can imagine, we were there in the initial rush of SARS paranoia. (An added touch: when I learned about it, the weekend before we left, I had a hideous case of the flu: 24 trips to the bathroom in 24 hours.) While we were in Guangzhou, they gave us gauze masks. We found out somehow that if you wore a mask, everyone assumed you were sick already, so they're still in the wrapping somewhere. In Hong Kong, they had a form to fill out at the airport to swear you didn't have it. (Hong Kong is also where we took the best picture of the trip.)

I think our agency was China World, but I don't want to bet money on it. I haven't thought about it in a while.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

*adds* I may just have to get a Fliker account of our own. That's a nice set of shots -

Our agency is Heartsent, and I strongly suspect that the adoption is only the beginning of our association with them - they strongly support membership in Families With Children From China, and as a non-profit, do works to support the orphanages in China as well in other parts of the world. (Really need to get back with them about that program in Nepal....)

Have you considered or joined FCC? They have an event coming up in a couple of weeks, and I'm looking forward to it -

What a lovely daughter you have - have you ever considered adopting again?

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

We've thought about it, and Sarah has even mentioned it, but we just don't have the strength. She's a sweet kid, but labor intensive, and she wears us out. If we'd been younger when we started, it might have been feasible, but then we wouldn't have gotten Sarah, and I don't even like to think about that.

[snobahr.livejournal.com]

I love the "OverlordLady Of The Universe" photo (the Hong Kong pic you referenced)! It's adorable!

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

That's the "fierce" face. Cathy determined the first day that Sarah would give "fierce" on request. It's kind of ironic -- we were all having a pretty bad time for our brief stay in Hong Kong. Sarah cried all night. But I sat her in the chair, and she assumed that position and gave us "fierce." I didn't see the photo until we got home, but what a shot!

She's upstairs now, going to sleep in her new room. I moved everything out of the storage room and we moved her into it. An hour ago, she decided maybe she wanted to move back...

[luscious-purple.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's definitely 12 weeks as long as you have been at your job for one year.

IIRC, my friend who adopted a domestic infant (who's now 5) was required by the agency to stay home with the baby for the first three months. But she hadn't been at her job for a full year, so they canned her. She's now back with the feds again.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Whoooooaah. My agency would have real issue with the employer - I had to provide a copy of the policies to them. And I know them, they would have sent as least a nasty-gram.

Yay pro-life authorities.

[lysana.livejournal.com]

I have no advice, but I wanted to wish you the best of luck with this process. I know having a child's been very important to you for quite some time, and seeing you finally on a clear path to that goal is a happy thing. I don't have nearly as much time to check on LJ as I would like, or I'd have chirped sooner.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Life has not been entirely on the kind side for you, either lately - hope things continue to improve!

[snobahr.livejournal.com]

No help/advice here, either, but big hugs and warm wishes!