*facesmacks*

[kyburg]

People slay me.

With all the hue and cry over this woman with her reproduction gone wild 14 children, something has been missed completely.

How about the biological father?

Who is known, knew his jizz was being used for nefarious purposes and didn't cross his legs?

Not a peep, not a whisper - nothing. Nobody is even suggesting that he step up and take responsiblity for any part of this.

COME ON.

Don't even try to tell me he didn't know what he was getting into. Hold her accountable for what she did - sure. But come on - he had the final say, right?

NOTHING. I almost missed it completely.

Where's his picture, his story, his excuses?

WHERE'S HIS PUBLICIST.

Comments

[the-resa.livejournal.com]

I feel so guilty.
I didn't even think of this til you mentioned it.

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure he had ANY say in the matter, really.

Then again, we don't know one way or the other.

[scarcrest.livejournal.com]

If he provided the sperm while they were a couple and then they broke up, he has responsibility -- but not necessarily any blame. But I'm not not sure how the law works, whether he could order the donation destroyed or if it became her property to do with as she chose regardless of his wishes.

I just don't know. I hadn't heard whether it was a single father or if she was using sperm banks; I'll admit that I haven't followed the story very closely at all, other than to observe that she's collecting children the way some people collect cats.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Same guy, family friend - private donation. (I think over at least four pregnancies. All of them.) The whole ball of wax. Chatter right now is that she's hopeful 'he will be a part of their lives when the shock wears off.'

Really really.

[trillsie.livejournal.com]

You know, I haven't even thought of that.

[cerulean-me.livejournal.com]

My husband almost donated sperm to a friend through private donation. He would have had to sign away his rights and responsibilities before leaving a donation. One "donation" can make thousands of babies. Once the jizz was in the cup with the doctor, he no longer has say, whether friend or stranger. He could no more stop her than get custody, than be forced to pay child support.

Sounds like she abused his trust as much as she did her reproductive rights to me.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

That's entirely possible, but not probable. Since she never allowed them to 'keep' any of the embryos (yup, she was implanted with that many, every time), it's not likely he only donated once.

Plus the fact their divorce was finalized only a year ago, too. He signed his rights to alimony away, but not much more than that.

[cerulean-me.livejournal.com]

The donor is not her ex husband. The sperm was donated by a family friend.

Having a clinic store your donated sperm, or embryos, is not the same as letting them "keep" them which generally means letting them be used for testing or given to someone else. There is a huge difference there.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

I dunno. Nobody is identifying him, or allowing his name to be public.

[cerulean-me.livejournal.com]

However! She HAS ruled out her ex-husband... which I shared in a previous comment... and considering they separated in 2000, I seriously doubt he was knocking her up all the time.

[cerulean-me.livejournal.com]

Both Nadya Suleman and her mom have been quoted a number of places saying that this last transplant used the last of the embryos stored with the clinic. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/31/nadya-suleman-octuplets-m_n_162756.html

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Wow, even more of a reason to implant more of them, than less. As I understand it, those things don't freeze well.

[cerulean-me.livejournal.com]

That's why AMA and American Society for Reproductive Medicine no more than four...

[rin-o.livejournal.com]

"Suleman said she went to the same in vitro fertilization clinic to have all 14 of her children. All were conceived with donated sperm from the same father, Suleman said."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29038814/

i'm guessing his excuse is that he has no idea that these kids are related to him. aside from that, there's far too much newswank here for me to bother with having an opinion on it until she's actually been caring for all those kids for a while, or gets a psyke exam.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

I doubt it. They finalized a divorce little over a year ago. LONG after the first six were here, and well into the last eight arrived.

[rin-o.livejournal.com]

mmnn? where's that bit, i missed it.

[redqueenofevil.livejournal.com]

That's because in this society, men always get off scott free. Remember the days that if a woman was raped, it was because she wore seductive clothing, or she had it coming? Never the guy's fault, etc?

Of course, since we don't know his side of the story, it's possible he didn't want the babies at all. Maybe that's why he left. Of course, we'll never know until he speaks.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

He just finalized the divorce with her a little over a year ago and signed away his rights to alimony....

Love it. JUST.

[gvdub.livejournal.com]

I just think that there's lots of bad judgment on display, from just about all parties.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

And some incredible luck - whether good or bad, take your pick and POV.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

I actually thought she didn't know the donor, and was wondering whether there was a clinic elsewhere which needed to be looked at for giving her the sperm.

Yeah, that's some responsibility issues there.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

And not a word. Not a peep. Nothing.

Gender bias much?

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

Great big tasty gender bias!

And where are the reporters hunting down this guy?

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

*crickets*

[moropus.livejournal.com]

Had no idea she brought her own donor. Talk about some biased reporting. Wouldn't you just love to hear his excuse?

[sekl.livejournal.com]

Oh come on we can't accuse him of knocking her up just to get a crack at $490 a month worth of federal food aid. That will have to wait until next week. The pillory is busy!

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

OH MAN.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

I've said a couple of times that the coverage of this is incredibly sexist (and indeed that the whole indignation is really sexist) and all my liberal friends come back saying NO IT'S ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

*dies* I KNOW.

[anahata56.livejournal.com]

I never heard that she was actually married to the guy--just that he wanted to marry her, but she said she wanted to raise the babies on her own, so she never married him.

See how many stories are out there?

But...Another guy with too much spooge and not enough brains--and now with a bullseye on his wallet. Because, I don't know if it's the same way in CA or not, but in some states, if there is a known father, and if the known father isn't paying any child support, then the state doesn't pay squat. AND they go after Daddy Dearest to get him to pay them, for past, present and future state-funded donations to the child-rearing cause.

So while Mommy has been living off her parents all this time, if they either bail on her or die, she couldn't collect, under those guidelines, without hitting Daddy first.

Talk about the shock wearing off.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Hey. Yanno. It takes two people, and all that?

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

I might also add, the people who are willing to talk about their experience of being only half biokids to their own parents?

Boy, howdy - would they want to make sure they could find their biological sperm donor parents, and then some. Most of them 25 year or more older? The records were never kept, never considered important and often never recoverable. THAT SUCKS, by the way.

The whole thing of being 'only a sperm donor' only is a cipher when you're not the product of one.

[betnoir.livejournal.com]

Uhhmmm...

If she is protected under HIPAA, he likely is as well.

Beyond that, I am going to demur so far as to say that if you are saying we should leave her alone, why should his treatment be any different?