Keerist

I'm not poly - and this bugs the CRAP out of me:

And even if you never so much as touch him, this emotional attachment has just as much potential as a sexual fling to damage your marriage. "We only have so much emotional energy; the more of it we spend outside of our marriage, the less we have inside our marriage," says Neuman. "And after a while, we simply do not have enough emotions and love and caring and time for both."

I'll admit it - I know I can't maintain the same level of intense with more than one partner at a time.

But to just simply la-de-da into something? And then make the base assumption this is true ALWAYS?

Wow. Fall in love, don't have friends. Matter of fact, you have kids? By this token...okay. COME ON.

Of course, you read on - and HAY. You always start lying about stuff like this, and it ends up in bed and....

Discuss amongst yourselves. I've got things to do.

EDIT: OH FUCK IT'S ONLY WOMEN WHO DO THIS. *shreds*

Keerist

I'm not poly - and this bugs the CRAP out of me:

And even if you never so much as touch him, this emotional attachment has just as much potential as a sexual fling to damage your marriage. "We only have so much emotional energy; the more of it we spend outside of our marriage, the less we have inside our marriage," says Neuman. "And after a while, we simply do not have enough emotions and love and caring and time for both."

I'll admit it - I know I can't maintain the same level of intense with more than one partner at a time.

But to just simply la-de-da into something? And then make the base assumption this is true ALWAYS?

Wow. Fall in love, don't have friends. Matter of fact, you have kids? By this token...okay. COME ON.

Of course, you read on - and HAY. You always start lying about stuff like this, and it ends up in bed and....

Discuss amongst yourselves. I've got things to do.

EDIT: OH FUCK IT'S ONLY WOMEN WHO DO THIS. *shreds*

Keerist

I'm not poly - and this bugs the CRAP out of me:

And even if you never so much as touch him, this emotional attachment has just as much potential as a sexual fling to damage your marriage. "We only have so much emotional energy; the more of it we spend outside of our marriage, the less we have inside our marriage," says Neuman. "And after a while, we simply do not have enough emotions and love and caring and time for both."

I'll admit it - I know I can't maintain the same level of intense with more than one partner at a time.

But to just simply la-de-da into something? And then make the base assumption this is true ALWAYS?

Wow. Fall in love, don't have friends. Matter of fact, you have kids? By this token...okay. COME ON.

Of course, you read on - and HAY. You always start lying about stuff like this, and it ends up in bed and....

Discuss amongst yourselves. I've got things to do.

EDIT: OH FUCK IT'S ONLY WOMEN WHO DO THIS. *shreds*

My personal, 'Top 10 Ten Things You Should Know About Trek'

Yeah, it was time. Both for the icon and the post.

My FL has just been oozing with 'OMG I MUST WRITE ST FANFIC' to the point of getting sticky with it. (I am much amused by this. It's cute.)

Let me help you a bit with this.

One, if you really want some vintage K/S stuff? Please go visit my friend Jim Rondeau's website and lend him a hand. Jim, being the stand-up kind of guy he (and his wife Melody) are, has been approached time and again by fen who literally aged out of their lives and needed help handling their affairs, which included getting rid of a ton of slash fanzines.

Help him make it go away - and you get a good idea of what this is all about, or has been about, for some time. (Took a quick look at some of the lists - seriously, there is some really classic vintage stuff on those lists. Stuff I have on my shelves. Jeez. HINT: Anything named CONTACT, you want. Seriously.)

I've seen a couple of top ten things you really need to know about Star Trek - good, but let me put my own spin on it.

(And I'll go backwards, just for the ugly fun of it.)

10. Star Trek has more in common with Mission:Impossible, Man From UNCLE and Bonanza than Star Wars, X-Men or Battlestar Galactica. (For example, the ship is gorgeous, but it's one model and that's the budget, folks. Pay attention to the people, not the gadgets. They're all salt and pepper shakers anyway, and only there to provide a place for the story to happen in.) It was also tightly tied to a miliary model - the American kind.

9. You can do without plot, but not for long. By the same token, don't forget your second act character development work - we know a lot about our characters gleaned from 79 hours of ST:OS, but we didn't get it in more than a few minutes here and there. (I think I still have Bjo Trimble's Concordance if anyone wants a look at it. She spent decades compiling it, and still didn't get everything right.)

8. Stardates have no tie to reality. Pick the digits you wish to use and keep it consistent for your purposes. (We actually tried to tie to Julian Dates once. We gave it up instead of opening a vein.)

7. The original series earned a number of Hugo Awards, but no Emmy Awards. Ever. (See #10.) Feel free to experiment, within reason. You won't be really terrible, not with all these years of really BAD stuff still around. (Not much of it is searchable online anyway. You don't know. Trust me on this.) You Will Not Suck. Ever.

6. Kirk, at the time he became a ship's captain, was the youngest one who'd done it. And young was not 17. He was 36, and by the time the show was over - nearly 40. That was VERY young. All of his peers were twenty or more years older.

He was absolutely certain of what he was doing, not careless or cocky. He made FEW mistakes, and managed that by checking and thinking and checking again with people who knew more than he did (and he KNEW he didn't know everything) and making that all work together. Watch how fast he does it, and pay attention - he makes it look easy. But young - very much the junior member of the club. Even the Commodores are ten years and change older. (In this, Picard by comparison was far more typical and traditional.)

5. Spock was younger, particularly in Vulcan terms. When he was Pike's Science Officer, he might as well have been Wesley Crusher. Green doesn't begin to describe him, not even when he was Kirk's First Officer. Seriously. He's a lot of things, bright and focused as HECK not the least of them. But more than a little unsure about the next part of life is key to Spock in the ST:OS years. Centered as all giddy hell, sure. Sure about himself, not so much - it was always a search for understanding there, lifelong. Best game face in the business, accept no substitutes. (His father was HAWTER.)

4. McCoy was not either of their contemporaries - he was at least 15 years older, and in some interpretations I've read, twenty years older than Kirk (Ditto Scotty, matter of fact). He's also a sandbagger. There's a lot of crossover between Spock's expertise in science, and his in medicine (see the talent Kirk surrounds himself with?) and he can hold his own with Spock. He just doesn't have a lot of patience with him. ^^ He has years on Spock - and sometimes, just plain has more depth. (If there was K/S, I'm sure he knew, was supportive and that's your bizness. He'd had some really nasty relationship stuff in his history - HE'S OLDER GUYS - so he's not in a big hurry to do it again.)

3. People talk about Kirk and Spock being the strongest bond - truth is, both Spock and McCoy lean into Kirk like bookends. Take the book out of the middle, and the ends prop each other up. Take one of the bookends away, and the other two topple over.

2. Uhura never spent a night alone if she didn't want to. Believe it. And who she loved was her own business, and nobody else's.

1. You can justify anything by calling it an alternative reality. Seriously. Do a good job and they'll forgive you. Good is also relative - if you like it, that's good enough.

EXTRA CREDIT: Write women believeably. This rarely happens, if at all. There's plenty of slash, but no women - unless it's a parody. You're going to have to get used to it. Decades of women writing for ST did.

Most important: have a good time. It's not worth it if you don't. Fandom is a vaccum - it's only as nice as what you bring to it, and if you stay long enough, it'll suck you dry - every time, all the time, no matter what. And Star Trek fans ate their young. Believe THAT.

My personal, 'Top 10 Ten Things You Should Know About Trek'

Yeah, it was time. Both for the icon and the post.

My FL has just been oozing with 'OMG I MUST WRITE ST FANFIC' to the point of getting sticky with it. (I am much amused by this. It's cute.)

Let me help you a bit with this.

One, if you really want some vintage K/S stuff? Please go visit my friend Jim Rondeau's website and lend him a hand. Jim, being the stand-up kind of guy he (and his wife Melody) are, has been approached time and again by fen who literally aged out of their lives and needed help handling their affairs, which included getting rid of a ton of slash fanzines.

Help him make it go away - and you get a good idea of what this is all about, or has been about, for some time. (Took a quick look at some of the lists - seriously, there is some really classic vintage stuff on those lists. Stuff I have on my shelves. Jeez. HINT: Anything named CONTACT, you want. Seriously.)

I've seen a couple of top ten things you really need to know about Star Trek - good, but let me put my own spin on it.

(And I'll go backwards, just for the ugly fun of it.)

10. Star Trek has more in common with Mission:Impossible, Man From UNCLE and Bonanza than Star Wars, X-Men or Battlestar Galactica. (For example, the ship is gorgeous, but it's one model and that's the budget, folks. Pay attention to the people, not the gadgets. They're all salt and pepper shakers anyway, and only there to provide a place for the story to happen in.) It was also tightly tied to a miliary model - the American kind.

9. You can do without plot, but not for long. By the same token, don't forget your second act character development work - we know a lot about our characters gleaned from 79 hours of ST:OS, but we didn't get it in more than a few minutes here and there. (I think I still have Bjo Trimble's Concordance if anyone wants a look at it. She spent decades compiling it, and still didn't get everything right.)

8. Stardates have no tie to reality. Pick the digits you wish to use and keep it consistent for your purposes. (We actually tried to tie to Julian Dates once. We gave it up instead of opening a vein.)

7. The original series earned a number of Hugo Awards, but no Emmy Awards. Ever. (See #10.) Feel free to experiment, within reason. You won't be really terrible, not with all these years of really BAD stuff still around. (Not much of it is searchable online anyway. You don't know. Trust me on this.) You Will Not Suck. Ever.

6. Kirk, at the time he became a ship's captain, was the youngest one who'd done it. And young was not 17. He was 36, and by the time the show was over - nearly 40. That was VERY young. All of his peers were twenty or more years older.

He was absolutely certain of what he was doing, not careless or cocky. He made FEW mistakes, and managed that by checking and thinking and checking again with people who knew more than he did (and he KNEW he didn't know everything) and making that all work together. Watch how fast he does it, and pay attention - he makes it look easy. But young - very much the junior member of the club. Even the Commodores are ten years and change older. (In this, Picard by comparison was far more typical and traditional.)

5. Spock was younger, particularly in Vulcan terms. When he was Pike's Science Officer, he might as well have been Wesley Crusher. Green doesn't begin to describe him, not even when he was Kirk's First Officer. Seriously. He's a lot of things, bright and focused as HECK not the least of them. But more than a little unsure about the next part of life is key to Spock in the ST:OS years. Centered as all giddy hell, sure. Sure about himself, not so much - it was always a search for understanding there, lifelong. Best game face in the business, accept no substitutes. (His father was HAWTER.)

4. McCoy was not either of their contemporaries - he was at least 15 years older, and in some interpretations I've read, twenty years older than Kirk (Ditto Scotty, matter of fact). He's also a sandbagger. There's a lot of crossover between Spock's expertise in science, and his in medicine (see the talent Kirk surrounds himself with?) and he can hold his own with Spock. He just doesn't have a lot of patience with him. ^^ He has years on Spock - and sometimes, just plain has more depth. (If there was K/S, I'm sure he knew, was supportive and that's your bizness. He'd had some really nasty relationship stuff in his history - HE'S OLDER GUYS - so he's not in a big hurry to do it again.)

3. People talk about Kirk and Spock being the strongest bond - truth is, both Spock and McCoy lean into Kirk like bookends. Take the book out of the middle, and the ends prop each other up. Take one of the bookends away, and the other two topple over.

2. Uhura never spent a night alone if she didn't want to. Believe it. And who she loved was her own business, and nobody else's.

1. You can justify anything by calling it an alternative reality. Seriously. Do a good job and they'll forgive you. Good is also relative - if you like it, that's good enough.

EXTRA CREDIT: Write women believeably. This rarely happens, if at all. There's plenty of slash, but no women - unless it's a parody. You're going to have to get used to it. Decades of women writing for ST did.

Most important: have a good time. It's not worth it if you don't. Fandom is a vaccum - it's only as nice as what you bring to it, and if you stay long enough, it'll suck you dry - every time, all the time, no matter what. And Star Trek fans ate their young. Believe THAT.

My personal, 'Top 10 Ten Things You Should Know About Trek'

Yeah, it was time. Both for the icon and the post.

My FL has just been oozing with 'OMG I MUST WRITE ST FANFIC' to the point of getting sticky with it. (I am much amused by this. It's cute.)

Let me help you a bit with this.

One, if you really want some vintage K/S stuff? Please go visit my friend Jim Rondeau's website and lend him a hand. Jim, being the stand-up kind of guy he (and his wife Melody) are, has been approached time and again by fen who literally aged out of their lives and needed help handling their affairs, which included getting rid of a ton of slash fanzines.

Help him make it go away - and you get a good idea of what this is all about, or has been about, for some time. (Took a quick look at some of the lists - seriously, there is some really classic vintage stuff on those lists. Stuff I have on my shelves. Jeez. HINT: Anything named CONTACT, you want. Seriously.)

I've seen a couple of top ten things you really need to know about Star Trek - good, but let me put my own spin on it.

(And I'll go backwards, just for the ugly fun of it.)

10. Star Trek has more in common with Mission:Impossible, Man From UNCLE and Bonanza than Star Wars, X-Men or Battlestar Galactica. (For example, the ship is gorgeous, but it's one model and that's the budget, folks. Pay attention to the people, not the gadgets. They're all salt and pepper shakers anyway, and only there to provide a place for the story to happen in.) It was also tightly tied to a miliary model - the American kind.

9. You can do without plot, but not for long. By the same token, don't forget your second act character development work - we know a lot about our characters gleaned from 79 hours of ST:OS, but we didn't get it in more than a few minutes here and there. (I think I still have Bjo Trimble's Concordance if anyone wants a look at it. She spent decades compiling it, and still didn't get everything right.)

8. Stardates have no tie to reality. Pick the digits you wish to use and keep it consistent for your purposes. (We actually tried to tie to Julian Dates once. We gave it up instead of opening a vein.)

7. The original series earned a number of Hugo Awards, but no Emmy Awards. Ever. (See #10.) Feel free to experiment, within reason. You won't be really terrible, not with all these years of really BAD stuff still around. (Not much of it is searchable online anyway. You don't know. Trust me on this.) You Will Not Suck. Ever.

6. Kirk, at the time he became a ship's captain, was the youngest one who'd done it. And young was not 17. He was 36, and by the time the show was over - nearly 40. That was VERY young. All of his peers were twenty or more years older.

He was absolutely certain of what he was doing, not careless or cocky. He made FEW mistakes, and managed that by checking and thinking and checking again with people who knew more than he did (and he KNEW he didn't know everything) and making that all work together. Watch how fast he does it, and pay attention - he makes it look easy. But young - very much the junior member of the club. Even the Commodores are ten years and change older. (In this, Picard by comparison was far more typical and traditional.)

5. Spock was younger, particularly in Vulcan terms. When he was Pike's Science Officer, he might as well have been Wesley Crusher. Green doesn't begin to describe him, not even when he was Kirk's First Officer. Seriously. He's a lot of things, bright and focused as HECK not the least of them. But more than a little unsure about the next part of life is key to Spock in the ST:OS years. Centered as all giddy hell, sure. Sure about himself, not so much - it was always a search for understanding there, lifelong. Best game face in the business, accept no substitutes. (His father was HAWTER.)

4. McCoy was not either of their contemporaries - he was at least 15 years older, and in some interpretations I've read, twenty years older than Kirk (Ditto Scotty, matter of fact). He's also a sandbagger. There's a lot of crossover between Spock's expertise in science, and his in medicine (see the talent Kirk surrounds himself with?) and he can hold his own with Spock. He just doesn't have a lot of patience with him. ^^ He has years on Spock - and sometimes, just plain has more depth. (If there was K/S, I'm sure he knew, was supportive and that's your bizness. He'd had some really nasty relationship stuff in his history - HE'S OLDER GUYS - so he's not in a big hurry to do it again.)

3. People talk about Kirk and Spock being the strongest bond - truth is, both Spock and McCoy lean into Kirk like bookends. Take the book out of the middle, and the ends prop each other up. Take one of the bookends away, and the other two topple over.

2. Uhura never spent a night alone if she didn't want to. Believe it. And who she loved was her own business, and nobody else's.

1. You can justify anything by calling it an alternative reality. Seriously. Do a good job and they'll forgive you. Good is also relative - if you like it, that's good enough.

EXTRA CREDIT: Write women believeably. This rarely happens, if at all. There's plenty of slash, but no women - unless it's a parody. You're going to have to get used to it. Decades of women writing for ST did.

Most important: have a good time. It's not worth it if you don't. Fandom is a vaccum - it's only as nice as what you bring to it, and if you stay long enough, it'll suck you dry - every time, all the time, no matter what. And Star Trek fans ate their young. Believe THAT.