Okay -

Jan. 26th, 2005 07:12 pm
kyburg: (#@$%!)
[personal profile] kyburg
His name?

Juan Manuel Alvarez. He's 25, used to live in Compton and after cutting his wrists, stabbing himself in the chest and parking his Jeep Cherokee, abandoned the vehicle on the tracks in front of an oncoming passenger train.

He's killed at least ten people today - not one of them him. Sent hundreds to the hospital. Occupied hundreds more rescue workers, investigators and Costco employees (YAH COSTCO!).

Spent a whole lotta my taxes.

Bitch.

It's been said I can use profanity well. Folks, this week I have been inspired. But it's time to share the glory.

That's right, the profanity lamp is LIT. Let fly. And no, this is not the time to warn the kiddies and tell people to cover their eyes.

You get points for refraining from using the 'seven words you can't say on television' - let's face it, they're overused. This is a male, too. You loose points if you insult his mother, his sex tools or any other female. *thinks* Female anything. Dirty bastard insults his mother, but has little to do with him. Think of something else.

Tell you what. I'll go first.

*ahem*

Juan.

You suck little dead rat chunks through a straw.

Backwards.

And thought it was boba tea.

I'd call you a waste of trace minerals, but I doubt I'd find any if I looked.

You left your brains in a pickle jar - stashed in the back of the refrigerator where nobody looks. You forgot them there a whole long time ago. Likely somebody pitched them because they'd begun to smell.

Sorry? No kidding. Newsflash of the decade.

May you live to over a hundred years of age - stuck behind a set of bars with a pervert who thinks Dial Soap makes a lovely enema. And a soup. And a lubricant.

And plays "Mmm Bop" by Hansen on infinite loop. At 12.

Date: 2005-01-27 04:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] turandot.livejournal.com
No, you didn't say that. I'm just saying in real life you can get in deep shit for doing things that aren't even remotely as bad as this.

Newsies are reporting that he's being charged for murder, and I'm just saying that's probably a bit of an exaggeration on their part: murder has to be willful and premeditated. This sounds like it was neither (at least the killing others part) so that charge would probably not stick in court: he's definitely going to jail, but he's probably not gonna end up in there for life. But hey, it's better than nothing.

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