*skids to a halt*
Oct. 26th, 2010 01:22 pmDear LJ - please, stop with the post-blocking slowness? I'm doing the best I can to get through posts, and maybe formulate one of my own here?
My hair is cut. Like, Hitomi Kanzaki cut. It's VERRA short. I don't think it's been this short since Cliff died. After coping with only bang trims most of this year (and not even that many of those) due to finances, getting hair in my eyes, caught in the glasses, the handbag strap, you name it - I'd had enough, and more than enough. It's OFF.
I no longer have to wash hair first, then rest of me in the shower. I can just start at the top and wash everything at once. That short.
Maybe this cut will also last a bit longer. Do I get regular maintenance? Oh please. Moving on!
Thanks to allowing Borders to send me spam, I found out that former President Jimmy Carter was doing a book signing in Westwood yesterday. It required me to jet away from work for two hours to get there when the store opened to get a wristband - and the three books I bought for him to sign - then back to work, then back in the car at two in the afternoon to get there, with kid and fella in tow (kid without nap) to sit it out until six PM for the signing. Kid was exhausted by signing time, hungry too - but managed to eck out a grin for the nice grandpa guy who did his book signing standing up. We were #22 in line. And I have Christmas presents for the mothers (and one for me).
Looked for a copy of FEED to give President Carter, and discovered there were none. Asking an associate to help me find one, I found out that they had started removing books from the shelves the night before...because this store is closing January first, but I didn't tell you that. Seanan's book is off the shelf because they're closing this Borders.
If I wasn't so perpetually fried, I might have wept. Getting angry? Pointless. Everyone is angry. So what.
I'm going to try to explain something in as few a words as I can.
I'm sleeping as many hours as I can grab. That's usually seven or less. If I don't put myself to bed by 10:00 PM, I will PAY for it the next day when kid decides this is the day getting up at 4:00 AM is KEEN. Those days exist. Most nights, the lights and all media sources are turned off or silenced at 8:00 PM, because kid has been put in bed and there will be no excuses for him to stay awake demanding to come back out and play. Of course, once he's good and asleep, that can change...but by then, one is usually asleep too. So it goes.
So no, I'm not knitting. That, plus the fact I have not gotten my glasses changed since earlier this year when I was written new prescriptions for them (and my provider wanted about five to seven hundred more dollars I didn't have lying around), such things aren't getting written as high on the list as say, sleeping. Or trying like hell to maintain some kind of social presence, and be a decent friend if not a good one.
I see tons of things I want to try. BADLY.
Someone said something about the writing art and having a place for the writer to work. One does not exist in my world today. No, sincerely and truly. This thing gets banged out as fast as I can write it down, checked briefly and posted before I'm off to the next thing. Work is the only place when I can grab five minutes (or a bit more) without interruption or being On Duty. I know my writing habits - I need an hour. I can make do with fifteen minutes, but a steady diet of fifteen minute bits creates something that takes me hours to tease out and by then, I'm pretty fed up. I need that time to shut my brain off and boot it up inside my story space - it takes more than a few moments.
It hasn't happened in a very long time.
Did I also mention the other things I need to do, like read bills, think about what is going to be put in lunches and maybe even *gasp* read a book? I've got a home study update to get done, and financial statements and employment verifications? Right.
We've bought 'How to Train Your Dragon' on DVD - my favorite film this year, hands down and guess what? It's been in the house for almost a week - and do you think I've watched it yet?
Don't ask me what's on television. I don't have a clue. Most of the things I recorded on the TiVo have been erased, because we needed to record other things (don't ask me, I wasn't consulted) and needed the space. *sigh* Glee? I know, I know. Get it for me on DVD. Oh wait.
I always have time to clean up some pile of something accumulating on the kitchen table. It always managed to pile up again, too. Go figure. I like having a place to eat, and all that. And oh, I do it with my back to the television. Someone has to.
I have to-be-read stacks at both work and home.
I really bite my tongue when kid asks me why I haven't gotten as much done in Pokemon as he has. No dear, I haven't fought blah blah, I haven't played as many hours as you have.
Clean clothes. Do I have something not filthy I can wear tomorrow. I have less than two hours a day - and frankly, I'm not switching gears that fast anymore. There is always something left over from looking after things to keep me occupied.
About the only thing that I try to do? I can start a game of Sims2 while working the last parts of the daily routines, and if I'm really on top of things? Get an hour and half in, play-wise. Maybe. (Lately, that hasn't even happened.) You want totally brainless decomp time, there it is. Hey, it doesn't require me to turn on lights and I can put it on headphones. Not so much with the television. If anything I wanted to save to watch later was kept, that is.
This is largely for documentation sake. Last year, I was too sick even for this much. Maybe next year will see me able to multi-task more. But right now, when kid is awake, I'm tied up. And not even with him, but with all the things that make things work, lifestyle-wise. Clean places to sleep. Clothes to wear. Food not eaten out because nothing has been made at home (and every space taken up with dirty dishes). Bills paid. Crap thrown out. That sort of thing.
The worst part is that I can see it's still not enough. Before I do my holiday gatherings, there will be a Cleaning, and it will likely mean hiring help to do it.
Sigh again.
I see lots of things I want to do. I think the goal for the next year is going to be getting the other things done better so more time can be had for them.
In the meantime, my memory is good and I still want to do that.
My hair is cut. Like, Hitomi Kanzaki cut. It's VERRA short. I don't think it's been this short since Cliff died. After coping with only bang trims most of this year (and not even that many of those) due to finances, getting hair in my eyes, caught in the glasses, the handbag strap, you name it - I'd had enough, and more than enough. It's OFF.
I no longer have to wash hair first, then rest of me in the shower. I can just start at the top and wash everything at once. That short.
Maybe this cut will also last a bit longer. Do I get regular maintenance? Oh please. Moving on!
Thanks to allowing Borders to send me spam, I found out that former President Jimmy Carter was doing a book signing in Westwood yesterday. It required me to jet away from work for two hours to get there when the store opened to get a wristband - and the three books I bought for him to sign - then back to work, then back in the car at two in the afternoon to get there, with kid and fella in tow (kid without nap) to sit it out until six PM for the signing. Kid was exhausted by signing time, hungry too - but managed to eck out a grin for the nice grandpa guy who did his book signing standing up. We were #22 in line. And I have Christmas presents for the mothers (and one for me).
Looked for a copy of FEED to give President Carter, and discovered there were none. Asking an associate to help me find one, I found out that they had started removing books from the shelves the night before...because this store is closing January first, but I didn't tell you that. Seanan's book is off the shelf because they're closing this Borders.
If I wasn't so perpetually fried, I might have wept. Getting angry? Pointless. Everyone is angry. So what.
I'm going to try to explain something in as few a words as I can.
I'm sleeping as many hours as I can grab. That's usually seven or less. If I don't put myself to bed by 10:00 PM, I will PAY for it the next day when kid decides this is the day getting up at 4:00 AM is KEEN. Those days exist. Most nights, the lights and all media sources are turned off or silenced at 8:00 PM, because kid has been put in bed and there will be no excuses for him to stay awake demanding to come back out and play. Of course, once he's good and asleep, that can change...but by then, one is usually asleep too. So it goes.
So no, I'm not knitting. That, plus the fact I have not gotten my glasses changed since earlier this year when I was written new prescriptions for them (and my provider wanted about five to seven hundred more dollars I didn't have lying around), such things aren't getting written as high on the list as say, sleeping. Or trying like hell to maintain some kind of social presence, and be a decent friend if not a good one.
I see tons of things I want to try. BADLY.
Someone said something about the writing art and having a place for the writer to work. One does not exist in my world today. No, sincerely and truly. This thing gets banged out as fast as I can write it down, checked briefly and posted before I'm off to the next thing. Work is the only place when I can grab five minutes (or a bit more) without interruption or being On Duty. I know my writing habits - I need an hour. I can make do with fifteen minutes, but a steady diet of fifteen minute bits creates something that takes me hours to tease out and by then, I'm pretty fed up. I need that time to shut my brain off and boot it up inside my story space - it takes more than a few moments.
It hasn't happened in a very long time.
Did I also mention the other things I need to do, like read bills, think about what is going to be put in lunches and maybe even *gasp* read a book? I've got a home study update to get done, and financial statements and employment verifications? Right.
We've bought 'How to Train Your Dragon' on DVD - my favorite film this year, hands down and guess what? It's been in the house for almost a week - and do you think I've watched it yet?
Don't ask me what's on television. I don't have a clue. Most of the things I recorded on the TiVo have been erased, because we needed to record other things (don't ask me, I wasn't consulted) and needed the space. *sigh* Glee? I know, I know. Get it for me on DVD. Oh wait.
I always have time to clean up some pile of something accumulating on the kitchen table. It always managed to pile up again, too. Go figure. I like having a place to eat, and all that. And oh, I do it with my back to the television. Someone has to.
I have to-be-read stacks at both work and home.
I really bite my tongue when kid asks me why I haven't gotten as much done in Pokemon as he has. No dear, I haven't fought blah blah, I haven't played as many hours as you have.
Clean clothes. Do I have something not filthy I can wear tomorrow. I have less than two hours a day - and frankly, I'm not switching gears that fast anymore. There is always something left over from looking after things to keep me occupied.
About the only thing that I try to do? I can start a game of Sims2 while working the last parts of the daily routines, and if I'm really on top of things? Get an hour and half in, play-wise. Maybe. (Lately, that hasn't even happened.) You want totally brainless decomp time, there it is. Hey, it doesn't require me to turn on lights and I can put it on headphones. Not so much with the television. If anything I wanted to save to watch later was kept, that is.
This is largely for documentation sake. Last year, I was too sick even for this much. Maybe next year will see me able to multi-task more. But right now, when kid is awake, I'm tied up. And not even with him, but with all the things that make things work, lifestyle-wise. Clean places to sleep. Clothes to wear. Food not eaten out because nothing has been made at home (and every space taken up with dirty dishes). Bills paid. Crap thrown out. That sort of thing.
The worst part is that I can see it's still not enough. Before I do my holiday gatherings, there will be a Cleaning, and it will likely mean hiring help to do it.
Sigh again.
I see lots of things I want to do. I think the goal for the next year is going to be getting the other things done better so more time can be had for them.
In the meantime, my memory is good and I still want to do that.