kyburg | *headwalls*

There's a little widget on my profile that reads something to the order of 'waiting almost four years for Sierra-Rose' on it. You know that one? The clock starts with the LID date of her dossier we sent to China.

The one that is headed for the trashcan as we speak.

Why, you ask? Why because we can't seem to get our paperwork done on time. Because when I hand Jim a piece of paper from the Customs and Immigration people, it gets ignored. Because I'm tired too and want to stop working at night.

Because. I literally don't have any more clock cycles and it got dropped.

We got a panic call from our agency Wednesday after a kind officer called them asking why we hadn't gotten back to them with our paperwork...and that our case had actually been closed in October, but they were advocating to keep it open.

You can imagine. I haven't touched ground long enough to do anything but fume since.

I was able to get the financials done, my employment verifications and the tax records copied and to the agency next day. Jim? He's working on getting his done today - and it's iffy. If he can't make it happen?

We're done. Toss the four years (and the year and a half prior to that) in the trash and Xander remains an only child. See, I'm fifty now. I am now too old to have kids - unless I slipped my application under the door five years ago. Maybe we can redo the CIS permit under Hague regulations (I would certainly hope so), but then that raises questions on both sides I don't want to think about.

Keep in mind we started work on adopting our family in 2003. Sure, it's a walk in the park and there are TONS of kids who need families!

Until you actually, you know - TRY to find them. Or they, you. Without someone engaging in human trafficking, of course. Which in a lot of cases? You may have been party to, without your knowledge. (Hello, Guatemala?)

I'm told domestic adoptions are getting easier - well, hey - bad economy! (Ugh. Families need to stay together guys. I'm not engaging in any baby scooping. Do. Not. WANT.) And again, I'm now scary old.

Angry would be refreshing. I am getting my head around being done and raising an only child.

I'll let you know if that changes. We'll be damn lucky if it does.