Standing down -

[kyburg]

I called it off. Call it intuition, call it fear of the 'August Curse' - I got the worst case of cold feet this morning, and decided to push the insemination try off until next cycle.

One, it's not free. And money, while it's not hurting, is tight right now. I'd rather be in a better place, financially. It won't take six months to get to, but we're not there today. Hey, you don't get into your forties and remain childless, when you want them, if you aren't a little paranoid.

Two, we haven't gotten day care nailed down. And that is going to be crucial. Neither of us can stop working, and if we can't work and see something after paying for childcare, we definitely have an issue we have to come to terms with.

Three, I've looked at too many couples who just jumped into having kids (or more of them) - and it ruined them. I think we're still at risk for that. I think we're always going to be at risk for that. It's the bloody unknown - and it's not the kids that worry me.

And then, it doesn't help that my first set of Sims in the first Sims2 family I built? The father killed himself fixing the television set while his wife was pregnant with their second kid - by the time the first kid was in first grade, the social worker had taken both of the kids, and the wife died a bitter old woman - the end.

*brrr*

Okay. Try again in September.

Comments

[reannon.livejournal.com]

Okay. If your gut feeling was wrong for it, it was a good thing to cancel. If you and Tallin still have a few things to work out, all the better.

However, don't forget that once you get pregnant, you still get ten months to work out the rest of it. You can't really nail down child care until you have an ETA on the child anyway. Most places won't put you on the waiting list until you're at least expecting anyway. As far as that goes, I have scads of advice - not just my own experience, but a four-part series on child care I did a few years ago - and I'll be happy to share it with you, on LJ or private email, if you wish.

But don't let logistics stop you, if that's all that's stopping you. No one is ever really READY to have a child. The stuff you can prepare for is only the very beginning of the stuff with which you have to cope. It changes you, it changes your relationship, it changes your life, and the changes can't necessarily be predicted. So yeah, it's scary. But it's a hell of a ride. :) Love comes naturally. The rest takes care of itself - with a little help from you.

Hoping the best for you, whatever you decide.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

The where and the how much - on this side, which is entirely elective at this point, we can decide whether the kid thing IS too much for our lifestyle.

Where. How much. Don't have a clue.

Uh uh. Not until that is nailed down. I just don't feel right about it.

I don't have a mother, sister or anyone I can call in. Not right now.

[reannon.livejournal.com]

Do you want the Litany o' Child Care Choices? I'll be happy to share, but I don't want to butt in. :)

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

From you? Can you give me that list of Episcopalian churches near me again? (Zip 90502.)

And yes, I'd love your input. You are one resourceful cookie, m'dear.