w00t w00t booyah

The announcement last Wednesday was a mistake in regards to Basic accounts, as the change was not clearly stated, it did not allow for you to provide feedback, and went into effect immediately. Many of you have pointed out that the decision worried you less than the way it was communicated. You should have been given a voice, and you were not; we didn’t follow our own rules, and we apologize.

At this point we are working on a solution to enable existing LiveJournal users to create new Basic accounts as so many of you have requested. Nothing has been decided yet, but we are considering options which would allow existing users to continue to create new Basic accounts.

Okay, so the timing is fishy. Big deal. (Emphasis is also mine.)

I've also done my due diligence and redownloaded my journal as an LJ Book - http://www.ljbook.com, and yes - *gasp* - I tossed 10 Euros into the pot to get it done without waiting.

Oh, that's right. I pay money to keep the lights on. What AM I thinking?!

I'm thinking about how much servers, bandwidth and the human labor to make all this happen costs, d'oh.

In signing up to use this service, I didn't join any union. The company does NOT consult me in forming its policy - and frankly, the amount of transparency is admirable under the circumstances. They also appear able to own up.

I ain't striking tomorrow. Matter of fact, I'm rolling it up right now to post as much CRAP as I can manage.

And I fully expect the option for paid users to create non-ad basic accounts is going to go right back to invite codes.

You want to give me a writing prompt, now's the time to do it.

Believe these guys. After the first two, I decided it was time for a cross-post. Obviously, this is getting to be a pattern today (and I haven't gone into the FL 40 entries yet):

Whenever at a hospital with no insurance, ask to speak with billing (or have a representative speak with billing) BEFORE services are rendered [unless emergency] and apply for any and all discount services they offer.

Some have sliding scales based on income. Some waive certain fees if there is no health insurance. Some will help you apply for medicare/medicaid assistance.

The hospitals, well the not-for-profit ones anyway, will often bend over backwards to make sure that you are taken care of, but the earlier you ask for financial assistance (for hardship reasons) the better.

Because?

About two months ago she was in a head-on accident with another car were her airbag deployed preventing serious injury. But she was badly bruised up and instead of going to she medical help - she resorted to 'self medication'.

In her case - taking 5 to 6 Tylenol at a time, and chasing them down with alcohol. This is a recipe for disaster.


So instead of coming up with a few hundred dollars or so for medical checkup and prescription - she is about to lose her house, new car and possibly even her life. Currently she has been moved to another hospital in Carrollton, where she is receiving 24-hour/round the clock dialysis on a liver-kidney dialysis machine. Even if she survives (which isn't definite at this point) - her life will be permnamently changed.

And all to save on paying some medical bills.. dr_nebula called it "pouring gasoline on a fire" - and he's dead nuts on.

Guys.

Get seen.

Seriously. You want my credentials? Ask away - but the two people above can tell you if you don't believe me.

That said, if you don't have the cash? Dude, there's always food at my house. I'm sitting here thinking about the stuff I have in the cupboards spare right now - I can compensate for the fifty bucks or so in groceries. Go get seen.

Reminds me. I'm due for my yearlies - I just haven't wanted to be away from work to do it.

I've told you I HATE leaving work for appointments. Okay.

Believe these guys. After the first two, I decided it was time for a cross-post. Obviously, this is getting to be a pattern today (and I haven't gone into the FL 40 entries yet):

Whenever at a hospital with no insurance, ask to speak with billing (or have a representative speak with billing) BEFORE services are rendered [unless emergency] and apply for any and all discount services they offer.

Some have sliding scales based on income. Some waive certain fees if there is no health insurance. Some will help you apply for medicare/medicaid assistance.

The hospitals, well the not-for-profit ones anyway, will often bend over backwards to make sure that you are taken care of, but the earlier you ask for financial assistance (for hardship reasons) the better.

Because?

About two months ago she was in a head-on accident with another car were her airbag deployed preventing serious injury. But she was badly bruised up and instead of going to she medical help - she resorted to 'self medication'.

In her case - taking 5 to 6 Tylenol at a time, and chasing them down with alcohol. This is a recipe for disaster.


So instead of coming up with a few hundred dollars or so for medical checkup and prescription - she is about to lose her house, new car and possibly even her life. Currently she has been moved to another hospital in Carrollton, where she is receiving 24-hour/round the clock dialysis on a liver-kidney dialysis machine. Even if she survives (which isn't definite at this point) - her life will be permnamently changed.

And all to save on paying some medical bills.. dr_nebula called it "pouring gasoline on a fire" - and he's dead nuts on.

Guys.

Get seen.

Seriously. You want my credentials? Ask away - but the two people above can tell you if you don't believe me.

That said, if you don't have the cash? Dude, there's always food at my house. I'm sitting here thinking about the stuff I have in the cupboards spare right now - I can compensate for the fifty bucks or so in groceries. Go get seen.

Reminds me. I'm due for my yearlies - I just haven't wanted to be away from work to do it.

I've told you I HATE leaving work for appointments. Okay.

Tell me something. Inquiring minds wanna know.

Does picking up a dear (but VERY fragile, even at nearly 300 lbs) aunt from the airport, taking her to Hemet and then STAYING OVERNIGHT out there qualify me for Good Daughter status?

Jim's taking a day off. Me, I want Idyllwild on Sunday. I may demand it.

I've booked hotel space. Everything.

Color me a bit bemused. I also got confirmation that Moreno Valley, trying really hard to be Just Like San Diego? There's a new town incorporating on the eastern outskirts. Wait for it.

Rancho Belagio. Shit. You. Not. I about snorted coffee out my nose.

That which will sit between Beaumont, Redlands and Moreno Valley. Yes folks, proof positive that the biggest cash crop out there is dope - which these guys obviously were smoking.

Nothing grows above your knee there. There are badlands Right There - no trees. It was in the hundred twenties over the weekend out there.

Belag-fucking-O. Who the heck are they kidding. Keep the shit on the outside of the boots, okay?

..

The house was a blessed 70 degrees this morning when I left it. I actually turned the fans off. Monday at the same time? 89. Inside. Less than 10 miles from the beach. HOT.

It's much better now. Even a mite chilly.

..

There's nothing like reading some of the blogs dedicated to "Our International Adoption Nightmare" - to convince me I've gotten a good agency fit. You can even read the tax returns on them if you want - and I did. Yes, I now know what the founder of my agency makes a year. I'm good with it.

I also know now why they don't do adoptions from Russia any more. Don't do them from India. Not from Cambodia. Warning folks in the Guatemala programs they may not continue there - and aren't jumping headlong into Nepal or Thailand. And Vietnam? Everything with a fine-tooth comb. And they don't scrimp with the training - you aren't getting a cooing bundle of wonder. You're being placed with a child that has a past. And you may know all of it - or only as much as can be known. Get ready for that.

Here's a couple I stumbled on this morning, just for future reference:

http://fleasbiting.blogspot.com/
http://www.bastardette.blogspot.com/
http://www.bastards.org/
http://www.ethicanet.org/

Want to see a site I really hate?

http://www.adopting.org/

It's very useful - but.

HAY GOT KNOCKED UP? WE CAN HELP - OH YOU WANT TO ADOPT? HAY!

And could it get any more white bread....sheesh.

..

End of an era yesterday. Yup, I got the last check from a class-action suit I was part of from when I was working for Super Shuttle in 1996. When I was working it as a second job, while Cliff was living with his mother in Lake Arrowhead. I worked. She didn't. And he wasn't safe at home alone - you'd hear how I abandoned him, of course.

I worked two jobs, thank you very much. And the second one was such a rip-off, I've been getting payments yearly after a class-action case found in favor of us peons over the payroll equations they used.

I used the money to pay off credit cards. That's why I was working it in the first place.

This last one, though? I want to spend on myself - somehow. It's not a lot, mind. I didn't make a lot at it - mostly about $300 in one dollar bills I put in a coffee can on top of the fridge (it later paid taxi cabs to take Cliff to therapy at Casa Colima in Claremont).

But..on what? I don't wear jewelry - have all the watches I can wear - have already bought enough books to read for the rest of this year. DVDs? Got plenty.

Something that will mean something. Something expressly for ME - that will last.

I don't do this material thing well, I guess.

..

chowyunsmut has shown me my downfall. Doughboys and they're local. (Better open it using IE, they've got an evil coder for a webmaster that put stuff in that isn't cross-platform compatible. Hiss. It also plays music without asking...double HISS.)

Rice Krispy Pancakes. Oh man.

Well, I can't age out of the China program - our dossier made it in before the rules changed.

So - I guess they can keep me waiting as long as they want, but I can't age out. Yes, I talked to the founder - something tells me we may yet end up pretty good friends. The subject matter and urgency certainly doesn't hurt the level of contact required.

She says that they have been assured by the representatives they have to trust, and have been trustworthy in the past, that the wait will be no longer than three years and if things don't break loose right after the Olympics, then some very hard decisions will be made. I have to accept that for the moment - that's all we have.

More and more, though - I'm being pushed toward the Vietnam program for the second one. And more and more, that's feeling Right. Don't ask me why. I have Chinese coworkers. I have Vietnamese coworkers. I'd be fine with it.

I don't want just one. As much as I want a kid, I feel that's unfair to her in every way I can imagine. Just to have us - and nobody else.

Yes, she'll have friends. Family of her own chosing, someday. You have those hopes for your kids - things you had, at least.

But one of the things I'll insist on - that my own family of origin insisted on - is Home is always where a sibling is. At 3:00 in the morning, when nobody else cares - I can call a sib, and the phone will be answered. It may not always be preferable, it is NEVER forever - but someone will pick up the phone.

That's why there's such a push. I have to get through the first one to get to the second...and looking at it that way, time is getting short.

Which reminds me. I need to call my Mom.

Well, I can't age out of the China program - our dossier made it in before the rules changed.

So - I guess they can keep me waiting as long as they want, but I can't age out. Yes, I talked to the founder - something tells me we may yet end up pretty good friends. The subject matter and urgency certainly doesn't hurt the level of contact required.

She says that they have been assured by the representatives they have to trust, and have been trustworthy in the past, that the wait will be no longer than three years and if things don't break loose right after the Olympics, then some very hard decisions will be made. I have to accept that for the moment - that's all we have.

More and more, though - I'm being pushed toward the Vietnam program for the second one. And more and more, that's feeling Right. Don't ask me why. I have Chinese coworkers. I have Vietnamese coworkers. I'd be fine with it.

I don't want just one. As much as I want a kid, I feel that's unfair to her in every way I can imagine. Just to have us - and nobody else.

Yes, she'll have friends. Family of her own chosing, someday. You have those hopes for your kids - things you had, at least.

But one of the things I'll insist on - that my own family of origin insisted on - is Home is always where a sibling is. At 3:00 in the morning, when nobody else cares - I can call a sib, and the phone will be answered. It may not always be preferable, it is NEVER forever - but someone will pick up the phone.

That's why there's such a push. I have to get through the first one to get to the second...and looking at it that way, time is getting short.

Which reminds me. I need to call my Mom.

Doing the math and realizing that I will have aged out of the China program if I wait for them to send a referral, based on the current rate referrals are being done. They're only getting through one week of LIDs per calendar month - they're over 60 weeks out from our LID. That's over five and a half years to wait - called the agency, and got "well, they can't continue a program that way. It has to start speeding up sometime."

o_O?

Dude, I'm turning 48 this year. They shut the door on me after I turn 50.

How does NEVER sound?

Yeah, I got another call in to the founder of the agency. Time to set some deadlines.

It doesn't help that the department has had three babies this summer - all to wives of guys I work with.

Oh, and the boss got married. She already has a son - so there you go.

I'd like a wife. She could have taken the computer to the shop, and then cleaned up the office so we could both use the other computer in there. (I had to reorganize a bookcase, reshelve books, dust - and redust the desk several times - discover that the circuit breaker had been tripped, fix that....) - and maybe I could actually, I dunno, WRITE DRAW SEW SING something besides trying to figure out how the bleep to get the debt levels under control without living on Costco hot dogs three meals a day.

And keep going in circles. The same circles. Daily.

HELLO HIGH WATER MARK THIS IS IT

No, I really can't think about living child-free the rest of my life. There's no thinking to do. This has BEEN my life so far - and just getting older? Wow. You can hear the boredom now, right? I'd start buying a spot in an assisted living center, except who wants that to look forward to?

No wonder I spend so much time playing Sims. I can at least watch somebody having a life.

Or in this case of this medium - keeping reading, and keep your mouth shut.

Because if you don't - and don't hear both sides - you're going to miss the solution.

Case in point:

yonmei made a one-click-does-all post this morning on a topic generating a very large word count this week: Sexism...from both sides of the gender divide. Two of my favorite journals went at it this week - with rather mixed results.

The players? theferrett and ginmar.

First up? theferrett - and Do I wanna bang you if you dress like that? Well, yes. Isn't that the idea? And why are you asking me, being female yourself, if I think the girl across the room is hot? And it's follow up, let's look at this a little closer, which contained the flash point moment of "Frankly, I think any woman who has to be begged fifteen times before she eventually accepts should be drug into the back alleyways and beaten, because her rampant need for a string of pleadings trains the wrong sort of men that no doesn't mean no. And then we should go beat up the men for good measure."

Which is where we pick up ginmar, which for all her rantiness, makes a very good point for clarity - and if you can get through the word count, you'll have a very good understanding of how our language enables a lot of gender-specific violence.

Wow. Just wow. Punish the woman for getting worn down by some persistant asshole?

By commenting on her genitalia you are reducing her to those parts, and doing it loudly and publicly.

Liberal sexism Can I get an AMEN here?

How about we just simplify things by blaming men for what they do?

Fan service. In case you didn't know what it looked like already. Fan service - and not to the female fans, of course.

But she was kind enough this morning to post the Cliff's Notes version this morning - Leading remarks and snappy comebacks - my favorites?

7. Men are so horny they can't help it.

I've noticed that they can help it after a couple warning shots.

8. Women don't have sex drives.

Maybe around you they don't.

But if that's not enough, even Sinfest got in on the action:

(Sure hope this works. If it doesn't, go over to sinfestfeed and add. You'll be glad you did.)

Okay. Let's look at this for a moment.

What do women think men want? Don't bother asking what women want from men. It's been done.

C'mon, you can do this one. What the typical woman thinks a men wants from her is sex. Everything else is secondary. I decided long ago this was unfair, and wouldn't get me what I wanted. So I don't participate.

First off, I want from men what I get from women. Acknowledgment that I'm alive, have a brain and needs of my own. We don't get past this part, there ain't nothing else you're going to get.

The little Sinfest cartoon also illustrates the next level - sex ain't all that, baby; but if it gets your attention, oh male of the species, expect to hear it a lot in conjunction with what really turns me on.

I think I envy women who can just go after the sex, enjoy it and walk away from it. I haven't had ANY first hand experience with anyone who has done that successfully, BTW.

My experience has been that the woman who pushes her sexuality at potential partners (without any discovery of who they're banging) is often motivated by the urge to control the other party by turning their genitals into a collar and leash. This is fine when it's play, but not when it's outside the bedroom. When you consider the previous paragraphs together with this one, you see something rather sinister emerge, don't you?

I grew up during the "sexual revolution," mind. My teens were in the years when the first editions of "Joy of Sex" were published, the huge divorce boom of the mid 70's was in full-swing and everyone was trading partners and having FUNFUNFUN.

The carnage was incredible. Keep in mind I spent a lot of time in emergency rooms because Mom was a nursing supervisor, and I heard a lot of stories. Even in a little town like Hemet, there are a lot of stories.

Put all this together, and you get virginity until 24. (And I married him at 25.)

Sex was always the icing. NEVER part of the "getting to know you." Conservative? Are you surprised? I did live with the fella for over a year in each case before marriage...and that involved sex. Yes, it did.

I want to know you aren't in it for my naughty bits. Not that I have a great set of them to begin with, but hey. I want to know you're interested in me - for me. Not how I perform on my back with my legs spread.

But I can see why some chick would ask Ferrett if he thought the other chick was hotter. What do women think men want?

I'm also complicated by the fact I prefer men to women, even for friends and co-workers. But I take care not to complicate things too much by being "too girly" - and yes, I laugh at the jokes. Because I understand the intent behind them. Ask the SCOTUS if intent matters, guys. It does. VERY. And yes, it's measurable. Go 'way.

I think both sexes have a way of maintaining the divide - men do it by making it hard to know them, and women do it by making it hard to be sexual with them. Do women want men to simply be sexual with them? No. Do men want women to find it hard to discover who they are and what they want? No.

That's why jokes about guys who lie about their sexual intentions are both funny and disgusting. And the ones about women who lie about their orgasms, ditto.

Now, tuck all this in the back of your head and keep your ears open this week.

And...don't you wish Nique had just said NO and been done with it?

(P.S. And to my non-hetero friends? Let fly.)

Or in this case of this medium - keeping reading, and keep your mouth shut.

Because if you don't - and don't hear both sides - you're going to miss the solution.

Case in point:

yonmei made a one-click-does-all post this morning on a topic generating a very large word count this week: Sexism...from both sides of the gender divide. Two of my favorite journals went at it this week - with rather mixed results.

The players? theferrett and ginmar.

First up? theferrett - and Do I wanna bang you if you dress like that? Well, yes. Isn't that the idea? And why are you asking me, being female yourself, if I think the girl across the room is hot? And it's follow up, let's look at this a little closer, which contained the flash point moment of "Frankly, I think any woman who has to be begged fifteen times before she eventually accepts should be drug into the back alleyways and beaten, because her rampant need for a string of pleadings trains the wrong sort of men that no doesn't mean no. And then we should go beat up the men for good measure."

Which is where we pick up ginmar, which for all her rantiness, makes a very good point for clarity - and if you can get through the word count, you'll have a very good understanding of how our language enables a lot of gender-specific violence.

Wow. Just wow. Punish the woman for getting worn down by some persistant asshole?

By commenting on her genitalia you are reducing her to those parts, and doing it loudly and publicly.

Liberal sexism Can I get an AMEN here?

How about we just simplify things by blaming men for what they do?

Fan service. In case you didn't know what it looked like already. Fan service - and not to the female fans, of course.

But she was kind enough this morning to post the Cliff's Notes version this morning - Leading remarks and snappy comebacks - my favorites?

7. Men are so horny they can't help it.

I've noticed that they can help it after a couple warning shots.

8. Women don't have sex drives.

Maybe around you they don't.

But if that's not enough, even Sinfest got in on the action:

(Sure hope this works. If it doesn't, go over to sinfestfeed and add. You'll be glad you did.)

Okay. Let's look at this for a moment.

What do women think men want? Don't bother asking what women want from men. It's been done.

C'mon, you can do this one. What the typical woman thinks a men wants from her is sex. Everything else is secondary. I decided long ago this was unfair, and wouldn't get me what I wanted. So I don't participate.

First off, I want from men what I get from women. Acknowledgment that I'm alive, have a brain and needs of my own. We don't get past this part, there ain't nothing else you're going to get.

The little Sinfest cartoon also illustrates the next level - sex ain't all that, baby; but if it gets your attention, oh male of the species, expect to hear it a lot in conjunction with what really turns me on.

I think I envy women who can just go after the sex, enjoy it and walk away from it. I haven't had ANY first hand experience with anyone who has done that successfully, BTW.

My experience has been that the woman who pushes her sexuality at potential partners (without any discovery of who they're banging) is often motivated by the urge to control the other party by turning their genitals into a collar and leash. This is fine when it's play, but not when it's outside the bedroom. When you consider the previous paragraphs together with this one, you see something rather sinister emerge, don't you?

I grew up during the "sexual revolution," mind. My teens were in the years when the first editions of "Joy of Sex" were published, the huge divorce boom of the mid 70's was in full-swing and everyone was trading partners and having FUNFUNFUN.

The carnage was incredible. Keep in mind I spent a lot of time in emergency rooms because Mom was a nursing supervisor, and I heard a lot of stories. Even in a little town like Hemet, there are a lot of stories.

Put all this together, and you get virginity until 24. (And I married him at 25.)

Sex was always the icing. NEVER part of the "getting to know you." Conservative? Are you surprised? I did live with the fella for over a year in each case before marriage...and that involved sex. Yes, it did.

I want to know you aren't in it for my naughty bits. Not that I have a great set of them to begin with, but hey. I want to know you're interested in me - for me. Not how I perform on my back with my legs spread.

But I can see why some chick would ask Ferrett if he thought the other chick was hotter. What do women think men want?

I'm also complicated by the fact I prefer men to women, even for friends and co-workers. But I take care not to complicate things too much by being "too girly" - and yes, I laugh at the jokes. Because I understand the intent behind them. Ask the SCOTUS if intent matters, guys. It does. VERY. And yes, it's measurable. Go 'way.

I think both sexes have a way of maintaining the divide - men do it by making it hard to know them, and women do it by making it hard to be sexual with them. Do women want men to simply be sexual with them? No. Do men want women to find it hard to discover who they are and what they want? No.

That's why jokes about guys who lie about their sexual intentions are both funny and disgusting. And the ones about women who lie about their orgasms, ditto.

Now, tuck all this in the back of your head and keep your ears open this week.

And...don't you wish Nique had just said NO and been done with it?

(P.S. And to my non-hetero friends? Let fly.)