Cornflakes down my shirt
Sep. 4th, 2002 03:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kyburgFeels like, really. If I actually had some cornflakes, I'd have lunch.
Yes, I'm still lunchless. Go me.
I've decided I can't make a LJ Tarot Card - I don't know which suit I am. *blows air* The last time I did a bona fide tarot reading it was about six months after Cliff had passed away, and was a reading for the next year.
Everything was pretty cool and reassuring, but the "friends/family/in the future" spot held the Devil, reversed.
And inside of a week or so, life got that strange, with a small subset of friends. No thanks. Not going to name names.
But, it fucked EVERYTHING up. So far, for some people, permanently. Not that everything crashed and burned, but I surely learned the limits of my tolerance for intolerance...and patience. Much patience.
So no, no tarot card. Not for a while. Clueless, I am. VERY.
*sigh* If Jim and I keep spending all the time we have together in the car driving to work, we will kill each other. We'll just snap and suddenly beat each other senseless with Game Boy Advance cartridges and empty Starbucks cups. Mean it.
If all goes well, the house will be on the market September 11th. Somehow, this works for me. Yeah.
I've also asked Jim to tell work to give him some weekend time for us to look at houses. I think he may get it. Heaven knows we'll need it. The idea that I will actually get to pick the next house I live in is both thrilling and scary as hell.
No, I didn't pick the house I'm in now. I've been very good at finding places to live, but no - never got to choose The Place before.
God, don't let me settle for less. Not this time.
And I am so, so, so tired of little whiney little boys. *Counts on fingers.* Three, this week alone. Gah, they actually think I'm going to expend the energy to give a rip. If they don't care enough to help themselves, nothing I do will matter. Ever.
Tired, I am. One hopes they will figure it out.
Yes, I'm still lunchless. Go me.
I've decided I can't make a LJ Tarot Card - I don't know which suit I am. *blows air* The last time I did a bona fide tarot reading it was about six months after Cliff had passed away, and was a reading for the next year.
Everything was pretty cool and reassuring, but the "friends/family/in the future" spot held the Devil, reversed.
And inside of a week or so, life got that strange, with a small subset of friends. No thanks. Not going to name names.
But, it fucked EVERYTHING up. So far, for some people, permanently. Not that everything crashed and burned, but I surely learned the limits of my tolerance for intolerance...and patience. Much patience.
So no, no tarot card. Not for a while. Clueless, I am. VERY.
*sigh* If Jim and I keep spending all the time we have together in the car driving to work, we will kill each other. We'll just snap and suddenly beat each other senseless with Game Boy Advance cartridges and empty Starbucks cups. Mean it.
If all goes well, the house will be on the market September 11th. Somehow, this works for me. Yeah.
I've also asked Jim to tell work to give him some weekend time for us to look at houses. I think he may get it. Heaven knows we'll need it. The idea that I will actually get to pick the next house I live in is both thrilling and scary as hell.
No, I didn't pick the house I'm in now. I've been very good at finding places to live, but no - never got to choose The Place before.
God, don't let me settle for less. Not this time.
And I am so, so, so tired of little whiney little boys. *Counts on fingers.* Three, this week alone. Gah, they actually think I'm going to expend the energy to give a rip. If they don't care enough to help themselves, nothing I do will matter. Ever.
Tired, I am. One hopes they will figure it out.
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question
Date: 2002-09-05 12:22 am (UTC)--Commentor
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-05 10:56 am (UTC)1. Repetition.
Everyone knows this one - the same three notes again. In spite of being heard, cosseted and cared about...when a solution is hammered out and agreed upon and a plan of action is put into place...the complaints remain. Put up or shut up. As was said to me, "if you've got time to complain, you aren't working hard enough."
2. An complete unwillingless to start small and work up.
When you're starting from nowhere, it's a long way up to having. Having what? Name it. A new anything. From books to apartments to live in. Feh. Define yourself by your possessions and you become a slave to them. Further define yourself by what you must do for a living and no kidding, you're a loser. A total lack of pride in a job well done, rather an emphasis on having The Job all your friends envy. And the Things. And the cash to Do Stuff. This feeds #1 like a perpetual motion machine.
3. A psyche that closely resembles a bucket with a hole in it.
I'm nothing. Make me feel better. Make me feel better some more. I haven't a clue how to make myself feel good about me until you say something nice about me. And I'm not screwed up -- it's someone else's fault. They did this to me.
4. I don't havta. Make me.
Name it. Whatever it is. Go to school, go to work, go get a job, get a clue....
You know this one.
It's a pity when you find this in "men" above the age of thirty, neh?
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-05 10:28 pm (UTC)Everyone knows this one - the same three notes again . In spite of being heard, cosseted and cared about...when a solution is hammered out and agreed upon and a plan of action is put into place...the complaints remain. Put up or shut up. As was said to me, "if you've got time to complain, you aren't working hard enough."
Hmmm. Perhaps. Perhaps that's the reason for complaining… not enough work. But, I can think of others. Maybe the solution didn't work. In that case, the complaints would remain. And the fact that they remain is a good indication that the solution needs to be re-examined.
Another possibility is the agreement itself. You mention a solution being hammered out and agreed upon. Well, too often, the agreement is only from one party, not both. I've had many friends ask advice. I tell them what to do to solve the problem. They don't do it. Should I get annoyed? Not really. We didn't actually make a blood oath that they would do whatever I told them to do. They took it as a suggestion. I took it as a command. So, it could simply be a miscommunication of whether or not an actual agreement was made.
Or maybe it's simple venting. Question is: do all of those cases of repetition still annoy you? Or is it a case by case thing?
2. An complete unwillingless to start small and work up.
When you're starting from nowhere, it's a long way up to having. Having what? Name it. A new anything. From books to apartments to live in. Feh. Define yourself by your possessions and you become a slave to them. Further define yourself by what you must do for a living and no kidding, you're a loser. A total lack of pride in a job well done, rather an emphasis on having The Job all your friends envy. And the Things. And the cash to Do Stuff. This feeds #1 like a perpetual motion machine.
Not sure I understand. You have several concepts here, not all of which relate directly. I'm seeing an issue of not appreciating what one has, and that's annoying to listen to. I'm also seeing the wanting it all now syndrome being mentioned. I'm seeing identity tied to possessions. And also seeing "beggars can't be choosers." Am I missing any?
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-05 10:28 pm (UTC)I'm nothing. Make me feel better. Make me feel better some more. I haven't a clue how to make myself feel good about me until you say something nice about me. And I'm not screwed up -- it's someone else's fault. They did this to me.
Ah, victim role. Question: how do you tell the difference between the martyr/victim complex, and just someone having a bad day? Or a lot of bad days?
4. I don't havta. Make me.
Name it. Whatever it is. Go to school, go to work, go get a job, get a clue....
You know this one.
Yes, I know this one. But it doesn't bother me in the slightest. Which I suppose is a good thing. It gives us something to disagree about, and therefore discuss. The reason it doesn't bother me when someone says, "I don't havta, make me," is because they don't havta. So why am I trying to make them? Why am I so invested in it? Who cares if they don't? It's their life. They're an adult. They're RIGHT. They don't havta unless they want ta.
It's a pity when you find this in "men" above the age of thirty, neh?
It can be tiresome, yes. Though, quite often, I see that attitude in men under 30, over 20. And in that age, it does seem appropriate. After all, they are trying to establish their own independence, so it seems reasonable that they stop following orders "just because." Come to think of it, I don’t know many 30+ year olds who deal with that well either. In fact, even I don't like doing what I'm told. Hmm. Must be one of the human stubbornness things.
--Commentor
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-07 12:00 pm (UTC)Re: question
Date: 2002-09-07 10:36 pm (UTC)*chuckles* I also think it's time for few disclaimers.
First, I'm not the trained, titled professionals who have taught me these things. Were that I was - but I only hold a first-aid/CPR card, even though I think I should get my EMT. While I believe I've had plenty of education, personal experience and plenty of insight - that's where it ends. The filters are mine, as are the opinions and impressions. I'm hardly perfect.
But referring people to professional help is often my last resort. When my only response to hearing some bad news/bad day information is to say "I really think you need the services of a neutral third-party with a broader scope," you're fucked. I mean it. The sad part is that there are fewer and fewer means to get that help - because it works, really works. I learned early that I don't have the objectivity to do it for a living, and I have a sister who does it for a living and I didn't want the competition either. Go me.
Up to that point, I will offer my best advice. Offer. Take it or leave it. But if you do nothing, I will call you on it. You've asked - what to do - I've offered the best my experience will offer. The rest is up to you. Particularly when it was agreed that something was called for.
Which dovetails into the first point -
Your stance has merit - but should I be annoyed? *chuckles* Well, the first time, no. Second, not a chance. Third? Well...again, the ticker is repetition. And no, not even the third or fourth. With not even one or two people. Yeah, it gets to me after hearing it more times than "Who Let the Dogs Out?"
I also think my upbringing is beginning to show here, as well. It didn't tolerate a lot of slackware or complaining. Nobody had anything, nobody had time and nobody wanted to hear about it. You want, you work. End of line. I can't say it produced a lot of warm fuzzies, but it did prepare me for the worst of the worst and I came out of it better than I went in. While there are a lot of things that don't yield to hard work, most things in life do. If you aren't willing to even try, how can I pass on what I learned? I surely spent enough energy obtaining this experience - yes, it's selfish - but shit on a brick, you don't have to stay in a stuck place. Been there, done that. Unless you like it a whole lot (and up to this point nobody has), move. Do something.
I know the power of one phone call. Ask me about it.
But it you won't do that much for yourself...AUGH.
Definitely a case of venting. Definitely a case by case thing. It's all mine.
But have I condemned anyone specfically for it? Gee, not that I know. Have I made a condition? Uh, no.
Does it sting a bit when I call you on it? Well, it should. The truth usually does. One can only hope it stings enough for you to do something to stop it. To please me? I'm a middle kid. I crave attention like I crave chocolate. I can definitely live without it, but a freebie is always welcome. And pleasing me would be totally secondary to what you would give yourself. I doubt seriously that you would even remember that it was something I wished for you. And really, I wouldn't care if you did. Remember, that is. The advice is always free, the results are always your own. If you lie to me, well, that's on you. See?
-snip- More to come...
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-10 01:40 pm (UTC)First, I'm not the trained, titled professionals who have taught me these things. Were that I was - but I only hold a first-aid/CPR card, even though I think I should get my EMT. While I believe I've had plenty of education, personal experience and plenty of insight - that's where it ends. The filters are mine, as are the opinions and impressions. I'm hardly perfect.
Disclaimers noted. Here are mine. I AM a trained, titled professional in this area. But, that said, I recognize that you are a human being with life experience. And that experience is sufficient to form opinions about what does and does not consitute whininess for you. Last I checked, no one needed a degree to have an opinion. So, my purpose here is not to assess your credentials, but rather to question your opinions so that I might understand them more clearly.
Your stance has merit - but should I be annoyed? *chuckles* Well, the first time, no. Second, not a chance. Third? Well...again, the ticker is repetition. And no, not even the third or fourth. With not even one or two people. Yeah, it gets to me after hearing it more times than "Who Let the Dogs Out?"
Here, our views diverge. I see annoyance as a choice on my part. A choice requiring that I expend energy to feel negative. And I'm too lazy to do that. So, I much prefer to ask the advice seeker up-front what they actually want. The conversations usually runs as follows:
I need advice.
You do? Are you sure? Do you really want me to tell you what to do, or are you just making a list of suggestions to ponder, or do you just want a pat on the head and a warm glass of milk?
I just want a pat on the head.
Then go call someone who cares. I'm not a warm fuzzy.
This sort of interchange usually makes my boundaries very clear to others and saves me the bother of having to work myself up into a state of annoyance. I highly recommend it to you.
I also think my upbringing is beginning to show here, as well. It didn't tolerate a lot of slackware or complaining. Nobody had anything, nobody had time and nobody wanted to hear about it. You want, you work. End of line. I can't say it produced a lot of warm fuzzies, but it did prepare me for the worst of the worst and I came out of it better than I went in. While there are a lot of things that don't yield to hard work, most things in life do. If you aren't willing to even try, how can I pass on what I learned? I surely spent enough energy obtaining this experience - yes, it's selfish - but shit on a brick, you don't have to stay in a stuck place. Been there, done that. Unless you like it a whole lot (and up to this point nobody has), move. Do something.
Yes, hard work has merit. But, sometimes people get discouraged and need a moment to regroup. In those moments, a softer touch is recommended. Sure, a strong work ethic is a wonderful thing to learn in childhood and take into adulthood. But, so is a nurturing hand. There's a difference between advice and support.
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-10 03:14 pm (UTC)Disclaimers noted. Here are mine. I AM a trained, titled professional in this area. But, that said, I recognize that you are a human being with life experience.
I appreciate this. In my neck of the woods, you'd better have your title handy. There's a doctorate in education, a LSWMSW and a RN in the immediate family - I'm the one who went for computers, and heck without even a masters degree. I'm the idiot. And yes, I've been told to shut up because I don't ever know what I'm talking about, many, many times. That title is the ultimate trump card. I also take heat for being quiet and having a temper. Go me.
I need advice.
You do? Are you sure? Do you really want me to tell you what to do, or are you just making a list of suggestions to ponder, or do you just want a pat on the head and a warm glass of milk?
I just want a pat on the head.
Then go call someone who cares. I'm not a warm fuzzy.
ROTFL. Are you sure I'm not there yet?
If I took a moment to regroup, the parade left without me. I think my upbringing is showing again.
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-10 03:33 pm (UTC)Yes, your upbringing is showing again. And that's fine. But I am not in the habit of seeing one's upbringing as a good reason to hold a certain view. From my perspective looking at what you just said, it seems your upbringing did you a dis-service if it didn't show the patience sufficient to allow you moments to regroup. Yes, perseverence, determination, and endurance are all strengths. But so are kindness, consideration, and patience.
--Commentor
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-10 01:40 pm (UTC)I'm all in favor of the time-honored boot-to-the-head technique. I'm rather expert in it, in fact. So, I take no issue with you dispensing brutal honesty. What concerns me is how much you invest emotionally in that. It seems you care overly much about how well the boot is received. From my point of view, boots are best given, and then let go. Truth is truth. It will speak for itself. I don't have to take it personally when someone doesn't respond to it right away. That's just wasted energy on my part. So, it baffles me that you would be so bent about this phenomenon. People generally don't listen to advice, especially if it's good advice. You will run into that behavior for the rest of your life with almost everyone you deal with. And if you choose to feel frustrated each time, you're going to have ulcers soon. So, I'm a bit concerned for you. Why are you so invested in the advice you give? What stops you from letting go? Or is it just a "having a bad day and need to vent" moment?
--Commentor
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-10 03:29 pm (UTC)And it's not the lack that bothered me so much as the lack of follow through. And truly, who stands to lose the most? Not me.
I talk all day, and the fraction prefaced with "I think" is just that - more noise and hot air. But if you say "I'm going to -," and you don't....isn't that different?
In the end, I am reminded that I can't pass along what I've learned the hard way by warning people off it. Much as I say "watch out for that tree!," they seem hell bent on smacking it dead on. Good thing I can enjoy gallows humor. Some days, it just gets old. A bad day - no, it just got piled very high that day. How many times do you need to get cutoff in traffic before you begin to wonder if everyone out there is out to get you?
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-10 03:52 pm (UTC)--Commentor
Re: question
Date: 2002-09-10 03:56 pm (UTC)On a more serious note, there's a difference between investing emotionally in something, and simple caring. In the first case, the outcome matters in a very personal way. If they don't do what you want, it's taken as a personal affront and obsessed over and "whined" about. In the second case, you deliver the boot because you care, but you don't attach conditions on how they take that boot.
As for benefit, I do not personally operate for the sake of benefit or rewards, so I don't quite understand that question.
--Commentor
More
Date: 2002-09-07 10:39 pm (UTC)And no, not one person did it that day. I think I counted three people. That day, all male. Just lucky.
Loved being blown off. Oh, well. The advice was free, after all. The dissapointment is mine.
Onto the second point.
Not directly related. Well, maybe. A lot of the issues contained in the second point can easily be taken alone with equal venom. But I see in a lot of cases how one feeds others. And it is my bias, but I get sick and tired of "yuppie scum" syndrome.
Get along with less, you have less to worry about. It's simple. But I don't dazzle anyone with my lifestyle. It is, frankly, modest. Both cars are paid for, but they're old and don't have much zip. Ditto the computers. I don't go in for the newest, neatest and zippiest game machines. But you would think that without these things, these men (we'll use that term, it's only respectful) would shrivel up and die. And oh, if they can't live without them, they'll stay right where they are. Because the Things are there. A bad relationship, a long-term with the 'rents...name it. My upbringing is showing again. Do without. Your freedom is at stake. Beggars can't be choosers...bah. Choose not to be a beggar. The rest will follow.
How do I define a victim role and a bad day? Reaction to the typical stresses we all have to deal with. A set of norms. *mrph* I just tried to write down a comparison. Suffice it to say, a healthy response usually limits itself to 25 words or less. A "victim" response takes 500 words of justification why the first response won't work for them. Just for them, mind. They're special. I think a healthy response also takes into account what special really means and accepts the consequences. Okay, you can't get to the meeting because you don't drive, and the buses aren't running. If you called and said that to the person who was calling the meeting, couldn't something be worked out? A healthy response makes the call. A whiner...well, writes an essay. And doesn't make the call at all. Sis calls this "mental masturbation" and I couldn't agree more. You know it - I'm sure you've heard it all before.
Perhaps I just insist too much on people taking the risk of being wrong. I do try to cushion it all by insisting they accept that they are only as fallible as anyone walking around. C'mon, Bill Gates makes a mint with software as buggy as the Windows stable. You can be late. You can make mistakes. You can - do anything. *blink* Quit telling me how you can't and start thinking about how you can. It's a choice, and don't think I don't know it.
And the only thing about the "I don't havta. Make me" thing is that it rubs right up against the reason I get up every morning. I havta. And sooner or later, there will be something everyone has to do, like it or no. You might as well get used to it. When you don't do it, someone else has to do it for you - and that's just not fair.
And when those people blame those who are making the "I don't have to" lifestyle possible for their problems, it's enough to make your blood boil. Yeah, it's a personal failing. I admit it freely.
-even more?-
Re: More
Date: 2002-09-10 01:55 pm (UTC)Yes, I can get along with less. But I'm also not afraid to plan for things I want, not things I need, things I want. Things can be nice. They don't define me, but they're nice to have. I own a piano. A concert grand. Do I need this thing? Technically, no. I want this thing. It helps me express my soul. It brightens my house with music. It puts a smile on the face of my Chosen One when I play his favorite songs. But can I do without it? Yes, I can. But I don't want to. For it would diminish my soul.
As for people who DO define themselves with things, let the universe take care of them. They will find themselves alone and empty with their things. They will whine about not having the "right" things to "make" them happy. And I don't think you are obligated to listen to them. My favorite sound in life is the resounding "click" made when I hang up on someone who is either yelling or blaming or guild-tripping or whining. Click. I highly recommend that to you. It works really well for me.
Thank you for the extended explanation of victim role. I see where you are coming from now.
And the only thing about the "I don't havta. Make me" thing is that it rubs right up against the reason I get up every morning. I havta. And sooner or later, there will be something everyone has to do, like it or no. You might as well get used to it. When you don't do it, someone else has to do it for you - and that's just not fair.
That's not fair? That's not FAIR?!?!?! Please. Get over it. Life isn't fair. If I decide not to do something, no one else HAS to do it for me. If they choose to do it for me, that's on them. But, most likely, if I decide not to get up in the morning, life will go on without me and not miss a beat. I have long since accepted that the world does not revolve around me. So, if I don't want to do something, I don't have to, and life won't care either way, neither will it spare me the consequences of my choice. I can exert my will at anytime, to my good or ill. And it's on me. No one else. Just me.
If someone else decides to exert their will and not do something they said they would, that's on them. I certainly will not pick up the slack for them. Nor will I get particularly bent about it. I'll just let the natural consequences of their choice screw them.
--Commentor
Re: More
Date: 2002-09-10 03:48 pm (UTC)I'm envious. I remember years of sitting on the piano bench next to my mother as she played. She didn't play well, mind, but I never cared. I was taking piano lessons and in those years of very little, there was a piano. A house fire when I was 13 destroyed it. Diminish me? Horsefeathers. What might diminish my soul, feeds my character. There is another piano sitting in my garage, waiting to be restored. It was given to me. It's over 100 years old. But someday, I will have a piano to play again. I'm just keeping the faith.
If someone else decides to exert their will and not do something they said they would, that's on them. I certainly will not pick up the slack for them. Nor will I get particularly bent about it. I'll just let the natural consequences of their choice screw them.
Just so. But if you say you will do a thing, and don't - you lose trust points. Since I start people off at 7 on a scale of 1 to 10, you can lose trust with me easily, I make no bones about it. I also believe people rise to expectations...and I set them high as well. If you think "do what you say and say what you do" is high, that is.
Re: More
Date: 2002-09-10 04:03 pm (UTC)Explain. That seems contradictory to me.
But if you say you will do a thing, and don't - you lose trust points.
Fair enough. That does seem to be the natural consequence, does it not?
--Commentor
Third time
Date: 2002-09-07 10:40 pm (UTC)The oldest, kicked butt in school and put himself through school on scholarships and grants. He's one of the top men in his field today, very successful. But no help from home...and I mean it. NO help. Not even modeling. His parents were two of the biggest examples of trailer trash I've ever met. Meant well, but....
The second one, killed himself before he was forty when his second wife turned up embezzling money from the family business for drugs and was doing everyone else in town for more cash. He was the typical "nice guy" who worked hard, but couldn't face anyone to tell them he'd made a mistake in who he'd married, again and was in up and over his head.
Fourth kid has moved out of state and drives trucks and gets arrested for using. That's about it.
The third one is who's been on the radar. I've known him for over twenty years.
He's lived with his mother all his life and he's older than me. He married, fathered some kids and lost them when he went after their mother with a butcher knife during a fight. He hasn't held a steady job in all time I've known him. He sat around the house, using and eating and drinking and growing fat, to say the least. And then diabetic.
And the complications have set in, and his mother is frantic because now he needs inpatient care and there is nothing for him to use to pay for it. She can't handle him at home anymore, but since he hasn't done a thing to help himself all this time, there is nothing...really...to do now but watch him take the consequences. We can also go into dumb mothers who remain clueless about their sons, but that's another day. It's this boy I'm talking about.
There was no reason he should have become diabetic - yes, the family has it, but only when you get above 450 lbs. Take reasonable care of yourself, and no worries. Disability? He never paid into the system. Social Security is doing everything...and you can imagine how little that is. The county is doing most of the work.
Has he done a thing? He calls and screams at his mother to fix it.
I don't havta. Make me.
*blows air*
See it in twenty-somethings? A definition of self, without having to be accountable. There is merit in that. But surely, surely that has to come to an end rather quickly when the behavior results in something unsupportable, like a life.
Yes, I did not do the dishes as much as I did at home when I first lived on my own. They got green and disgusting and I do them as I was taught at home now that I've discovered that.
Is it a lack of structure, rather than too much? Or emphasis on the wrong things?
It's not mine to know. I only know what presses my buttons. Stupidity, willfull stupidity is one of the big ones.
Do I do what I'm told? Respect for reasonable authority rears its ugly head. If I do not wish to do a thing, I have to present a reasonable argument why not. Otherwise, it behooves me to. There are consquences if I do not, neh?
And I am the stubbornest person I know. Just not as passive-agressive as most. I think. ^^
Re: Third time
Date: 2002-09-10 02:23 pm (UTC)Has he done a thing? He calls and screams at his mother to fix it.
There is a simple solution to this. Kick him to the curb and let him die. He'll stop screaming for mom to fix it, if she stops trying to fix it. What's wrong with just standing aside and letting him take the consequences of his choices? Why does it bother you to do so?
It's not mine to know. I only know what presses my buttons. Stupidity, willfull stupidity is one of the big ones.
With all due respect, I believe it is you and you only who press your buttons. Einstein said that he believed there were only two infinite things... the universe and human stupidity. And he wasn't so sure about the universe. So, it stands to reason that you are going to encounter willfull stupidity for the rest of your natural life. Again, my concern about ulcers in your future is rearing its head. My buttons get pressed only because I hang them out to be pressed. And since I don't really like feeling that frustrated all the time, I stopped hanging those buttons out there. Haven't finished that project, but I'm getting close. I understand you feel compassion and want to rescue sometimes, but it seems you are doing so at the expense of your own peace of mind. I'm not sure that cost is worth it.
--Commentor
Re: Third time
Date: 2002-09-10 03:57 pm (UTC)Ah, if it were that simple. You can't do that to family. There's always someone who wants to play martyr - and in this case, it's his mother. And I feel sorry for those who have to deal with her, don't you?
Oh, I know I allow this. It is my choice to have this opinion. However, I'm also of the mind to set some boundaries on what I will and won't consider acceptable. And willfull stupidity is up with with dishonesty and some other sins of vanity we don't need to go into yet.
Somebody will have to clean up the mess, after all. I hate messes. ^^
Re: Third time
Date: 2002-09-10 04:09 pm (UTC)Actually, it is that simple. And you can do that to family.
There's always someone who wants to play martyr - and in this case, it's his mother. And I feel sorry for those who have to deal with her, don't you?
No, I don't particularly feel sorry for them. I personally choose not to deal with martyrs. And they could make a similar choice if it really bothered them that much to deal with her. As I said before, it really IS that simple. We just don't like doing things the simple way.
--Commentor